Too much excitement will kill ya!

Last night I was watching “City TV’s evening news” and I swear to God I don’t make this up. There was a report about this bus driver who was talking to his cell phone for half an hour while he was doing his job, driving the city bus in Toronto’s turtle-friendly streets!!!

Well, you might think that due to his reckless behavior, he must have accidentally driven the bus into a gas station and blown up himself and the whole neighborhood and killed 250 people … but No No No! He was talking to his cell phone for half an hour. That’s the news! In fact, that’s the whole news!!! That’s city TV’s fascinating reportage!

He was talking to this cell and apparently one of the responsible passengers (who obviously didn’t have a life!) took his picture, ironically with her cell phone! and gave it to CityTV's reporter. Now it was time for our brave little “Frank Gardner!” to take the picture to the bus company’s deputy to the regional manager! and embarrassed him with the scandalous picture of this shameful behavior so in the future such catastrophe could be prevented!

And then, Mr. Woodward!! continued with the thrilling news that “the search for this irresponsible driver still goes on” as if he was talking about “mission impossible 4”! Like how hard it would be to find a perfectly photographed bus driver in Spadina!

Later, he finished this exciting “reportage of the century!” with the typical, alarming and mysterious tone “we think we ride safe in our buses, but ARE WE SAFE ENOUGH!?”

Oh for Heaven’s sake, somebody please do kill somebody so at least, they can fill up their evening news with something a bit more decent! What’s next?! Mr. Whisker, little Julia’s kitty has been insulted by Magi’s intolerant Hamster's racial remarks ?!!

When the world says we’re boring, I think they have a point!