Saturday, December 30, 2006

A sad day for humanity!

It was hard to believe, even though we all had heard the court’s verdict.

After the long, tedious and unfinished trial of Milosevic, I was expecting a lengthy process of appeals and re-appeals, but today, the news was short and shocking. “Saddam has been executed”

Although I’m firmly against the capital punishment, even for such a ruthless dictator like Saddam, it’s genuinely hard to feel sympathy for one of the darkest figures in the modern history. Even harder for us, Iranians, who have no shortage of first-hand experiences of his merciless killing machine.

I’m not sad that he’s been executed. I’m angry. I’m furious. Angry because he was sentenced to death for a minor fraction of what he was truly responsible for. Because the history was denied from everything he knew and was buried with him forever. Because he died before talking about all who supported him for years, from United Stated and European countries to Russia and Arab leaders of the region, with money, intelligence, weapons, and sadly, by providing him the materials that enabled him to put forward his deadly chemical and biological program.

He died before he was given enough time to think about what he had done to his people, to Iranians and to Kuwaitis and to be honest, death by hanging was a gift to Saddam that relieved him from unquestionable years of pondering in prison. The gift, he was not courageous enough to give himself, the way Hitler and Goebbels generously indulged themselves with.

The day, I watched Saddam’s being brutally humiliated on TV, was one of the best days of my life. The day he got executed, I just feel shocked and betrayed.

He definitively deserved to die, but the humanity deserved much more than that.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

This is priceless!

I love Scandinavians...I really do.

Just think about what happened in United States over a millisecond exposure of Janet Jackson’s breasts and you’re going to have the idea, how far ahead these Danish people are.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Singing in the rain!

I just watched a brilliant movie. I love when I watch a nice movie all alone. When I don’t have to talk to anybody. Where I can simply avoid some useless small talks and my sometimes-quite-pretentious analysis and critics and I can just keep the mood, as long as I want.

This month, I didn’t buy the metro pass and I remembered that I just used my last bus ticket, this morning as was commuting to work.

When you don’t have change or ticket, there’s no way around but walking home. I was not even sure I didn’t have change but even if I did, I was perfectly sure that I wouldn’t spend it on a ticket. Although only today, I’d spend twenty dollars on a heavenly “All you can eat Sushi” lunch, ten dollars for a delicious Rum and chocolate cake and a hot earl grey tea while I was reading my book and waiting for the movie to begin, sixty five dollars on a safety boots that I’m sure I’m never going to use and since I’m still unashamedly using my student card to get the discount, ten dollars for the movie ticket, I was not willing to pay two dollars and fifty cents for the bus ticket or I was just using this inexplicable stinginess to avoid another boring bus ride and enjoy walking in this beautiful, unexpectedly lovely night.

I called my friend to tell him what a fantastic movie I just watched and persuade him to go and see it, or maybe just to see how he feels today. Unlike last night, he was just fine.

I hung up the phone. Kept on smiling, I continued walking. It was nice. Not by Montréal’s standards nice! It was really warm and pleasant. Maybe if I was living in California, I would take this for granted but any Montrealers knows that a warm mid-November night is not something to be missed.

I hate getting wet. I just hate it like a big spoiled cat, but I took off my hat, and bring down my umbrella to enjoy getting wet. As I was twirling my umbrella and deliberately walking into the puddles, I saw my self as Gene Kelly in Singing in the rain. Only that I was not singing in the rain and I was not dancing either. I was just walking in the rain. I was just consciously and joyfully walking in the rain. Just walking.

The only possible way that I can think of to make this magnificent night any better, was if I was in love. Or maybe not. At least now, I have something to fancy about. FANCY! Did I mention that I really do adore using British words?

A funny one

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

The Third Plan!

As the world’s concerns about Iran’s nuclear program are on the rise, there is an important question to be answered. Is Iran truly looking for nuclear technology for peaceful purposes, like generating electricity, or the ultimate goal behind this mysterious program is nothing but the good old nuclear bomb, as the world suspects? And if they really are moving toward becoming a nuclear state, should the international community, lead by the United States, stop them at any cost, or it is better to let them have the bomb under certain conditions?

The irritating point about the media coverage of the subject so far, has been the blatant destitute of any collateral thinking. Analyzing the possibilities within a rigid framework, overlooking the likelihood of the existence of a third or even more answers to the same question and simply repeating the worn-out talking points again and again, is media’s chronic disease that although is not uniquely confined to this particular case but has been vividly manifested here, to say the least.

As an example for other conceivable scenarios, what if Iranians are not looking for the peaceful nuclear technology, as one may suspect, but they are not looking for the bomb either? What if they are perfectly aware that the geopolitics of the region would not give them the time they need, which according to the experts would be something between five to ten years, but they also know that the world and especially United States are simply not in the position to dictate something quite drastic like the full abandonment of the plan? What if the pragmatic leaders of Iran, which is one thing they have repeatedly proven to be, are just using the whole nuclear issue as a bully for the international community to win the best deal possible, in return to stop the entire process or to reduce it to a fairly less-ambitious program?

Let’s explore first, why the situation of Iran is different and a nuclear Iran is downright out of the question and then see why the world is simply not in a position to impose the consensus to Iran.

First of all, becoming a nuclear state, if not impossible, is much more complicated for Iran than most people may think it would be. There is a missing link in the common analysis that draws parallel between Iran’s case and those of recently-joint, unwelcome new members of the nuclear club, namely North Korea, India and Pakistan.

In the case of India, due to the enormous geopolitical and economical importance of the country in the international scene, it was almost impossible to prevent her from becoming a nuclear state where as in the case of Iran, though by no mean easy, it would be perfectly within the reach of the Security Council’s permanent members. The case of Pakistan is also undeniably linked to the case of India to the extent that analyzing it outside of this context would be ridiculously absurd. In fact, the world’s intentional disregard to Pakistan nuclear program was a well-directed policy, addressing the incapability of the international community to deter India from developing nuclear capability. In other word, a nuclear Pakistan was a necessity for the region’s balance of power to be restored.

For obvious reasons, not only this argument is not valid in the case of Iran, a nuclear Iran would severely unbalance the power structure of the region hence forces the Security Council to do everything in its disposal to prevent the scenario from happening.

The case of North Korea is an exceptionally odd one, makes it completely incomparable to the one of Iran’s. As much as the strange isolation of North Korea, makes any sort of sanctions ineffective, the vibrant economical ties of Iran to the outside world can easily bring Iran to its knees. The majority of Iran’s revenue comes from exporting oil and apart from United States and Israel, Iran has trading ties with almost the rest of the world which makes Iran rather vulnerable and the sanctions quite effective in this case. Not to mention that Iran has no similarity with the information-black hole called North Korea. Where the world has almost no clue about what’s going on inside that country, it is fairly easy to gather any sort of information about Iran hence prevent the formation of the frightening mysterious vacuum of information like the one that surrounds North Korea.

Considering the fact that Iran’s leadership, has managed to successfully overcome the myriad of crisis it has been faced with so far, it is rather naïve to underestimate their vision to foresee this obvious fact that the world, not only united stated, Europe and Israel but also the Arab leaders of the region, would simply not tolerate a Shiite, non-arab nuclear Iran in the middle east.

It is also unrealistic if one wants to consider that a power plant like the one in Boushehr, with capacity of 1000 MW (almost half of Karoon’s hydraulic power plant),in a country so rich in oil and natural gas reserves, is something that any regime would be ready to pay such a hefty price for. Maybe that is the reason why Iran always finds an excuse to interrupt the negotiations, whenever it is getting close to a deal. In fact, it seems that Iran is absolutely not looking for a way to continue the peaceful nuclear activity, or to open up the nuclear power plant or even to keep up enriching uranium in her soil. So what is the real plan?

It seems that what Iran is really looking for, is to persuade the world that she is dangerous enough to be a threat to the international community, and specially to Israel, and also powerful enough to make any sort of confrontational attempt, a massively expensive adventure. Using the scary image, they could negotiate their way to receive a considerable package of incentives, in a situation where bribing Iran would be the most rational as well as economical option and even in the best case scenario, the only option available for United States and the allies. For that matter, Iran has a lot of strong cards to play with.

Iran’s elaborate ties to the outside world, though an Achilles foot in one way; is a week point for the international community as well. Extensive investments of Europeans and Asians in Iran’s industries as well as in energy sector, creates a considerably complicated dilemma that cannot be solved without an enormous price to be paid. The sanctions imposed by United States which keeps the American companies out of the competition, creates such a delicious feast for the Europeans, Chinese, Korean and even Malaysians that would make the sanction as painful for them as it would be for Iran. Not to forget that Russia, alongside with China, has a profitable monopoly over Iran’s military deals that forces Kremlin to think twice before agreeing to any sort of sanction that could deprive the Russian’s desperately-in-need-of-cash military industry from Iran’s competitor-less! market.

Another strong card in the hand of Iran’s leadership is the fact the country is supplying a good portion of the worlds, and especially India and china’s need to crude oil and natural gas. Replacing this gigantic supplier of energy not only seems to be impossible, the process on the oil prices hence on the world’s economy can be downright disastrous and it the present situation where another major producer, Iraq, is unlikely to be able to reclaim its position in the oil market anytime soon, it’s highly unlikely if India and China with such oil-thirsty economies, would fall for such a risky decision that could bring catastrophic outcomes to their vulnerable economies.

Next card would be Iran’s recently-boosted influence on the region, in Iraq, Afghanistan, Lebanon and Palestine. Considering the direct involvement of America as well as England in Iraq and Afghanistan, and the proximity of Lebanon and Gaza to Israel, any sort of stimulation introduced by Iran or the groups supported by Iran can lead to dangerous situations that could literally endanger lives of American and British soldiers as well as Israeli’s soldiers and civilians.

Another stronghold of Iran is the calculatedly widely-distributed and well-protected nuclear sites throughout a vast country that turns any military plan into an extremely complicated one, certainly far from a safe and causality-proof mission and totally different to Israel’s spotless air strike on heavily-concentrated and unwisely-unprotected nuclear facilities of Saddam, near Baghdad in 1981.

Last card, but absolutely not least is the fact that Iran’s leadership, as well as almost anybody else in the politics, are perfectly aware of the badly-reduced, overstretched US’s military power. In other word, although America always states that the military option is on the table; both sides know that it’s not really an option to be considered.

Add to this, Iran’s military power. Although obviously not as strong as to be able to withstand United States army, strong enough to inflict serious damages to US’s interests in the region.

The above-mentioned analogy, justifies Iran’s leaders sharp and seemingly irrational rhetoric with regard to Israel, their irritating disobedient from the security council’s resolutions and their obvious unwillingness toward any political solution, trying to facilitate Iran’s access to peaceful nuclear technology. Otherwise, how anyone could possibly explain Iran’s leaders demagoguery, attracting so much attention to Iran’s hostility toward Israel and defiance to United States, if what they really need is a calm, attention-free environment where they can pursue a secret military plan under the cover of a civilian reactor?

Iran is aware that the world is absolutely determined to prevent her from becoming a nuclear state. They know that Israel already has an elaborate plan and the military capability as well, to finish the job if the situation appears to be critical and they will consider to do it alone if the rest of the world shies away, but Iran also knows that such procedure would be massively costly for the international community. In fact, expensive enough to justify paying a massive bribe to Iran just to avoid the confrontation. The bribe could be an amalgam of subjects; from lifting the sanctions to the securing the future of the regime from any possible threat from the outsides. The intentional efforts of Iran’s rulers to cultivate the Iran-o-phobia among western nations as well as Israel, is only logically explainable if it is to be a well-tailored political gesture to raise the final price of the deal to the highest level possible. A quite common scene in every haggle where one side is a Middle Easterner!

Considering the seemingly unsolvable catastrophe of Iraq, it would not be surprising if a defying, rebellious Iran would give up her nuclear ambitions right before US’s presidential election and all of a sudden justifies the whole Neo-Cons’s pre-emptive adventure in the Middle East.

And on the other side, since Iran’s leaders has repeatedly announced that they are not pursing a military plan and a nuclear war head is absolutely not what they are looking for, there would not be any need for the gesture to be explained or justified for Iran’s public.

After all, if it happens it wouldn’t be the first time, Islamic republic of Iran helping republicans win an election.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

The little boy was reading the magazine passionately, while his father was buying a pack of cigarettes. The boy asked his father if he could buy the magazine for him. The father looked at him as he was paying for the cigarettes and responded that he didn’t have enough money with him.

Although it happened years ago, I still can remember the lingering gaze of the boy to that magazine as they were walking away, as well as his father’s confident voice, assuring that there was really no more money for the magazine and I mostly do remember the scene whenever I hear one of the world’s leaders, justifying why they should cut the budget for all the good things in the world, just because there’s not enough money!

I know it cost billions to fund education and health care, to protect the environment or to go on with medical researches, but does anybody have any idea, how much we spend annually on arms and ammunition?

If you think you know and it’s a boring subject, well at least you can take a guess, can’t you?

Did any body come up with 1.4 trillion dollars a year?! Unbelievable ha?

Yet somehow, we can always come up with the money for the cigarettes!

Long live Wilem....Long live Pronto

Pronto is amazing. The new invention by a South African called Wilem Van Rensburg, a brand new condom that you can put it on, in only 3 seconds! No messy oily sheets, no pathetic struggle with the stubborn wrapping, using your teeth and last but not least, no finding the right side in the dark using the dim light of your cell phone!

Any guy who’s used condoms in his life would realize that it’s much more important step for man kind than landing on the moon or coming up with the big-bang theory or discovering the black holes! After all, how many black holes we have to deal with in our daily lives?! (and I mean a real black hole not the metaphoric ones!)

And the painful thing is that I had the idea about 10 years ago but as usual, I didn’t take myself seriously. Now the guy is a millionaire and I should be just a happy, relieved consumer!

And in a country like South Africa which has the World’s biggest rate of HIV infections, he’s not only going to be a millionaire, but a hero as well. I think that he absolutely deserves it!


When was the last time you were in such a good mood?

Monday, October 23, 2006

(Originally was supposed to be published last week!)

I’m going to write more. How do I know that? Well, for one reason, I have a very comfortable chair now, hundred times better than the old pain in the neck one, which was ironically giving me pain in the neck, quite frequently!

I bought it from Sousou and William who are leaving Montreal for California next month and I suppose that’s the only good which could possibly come from two good friends as well as Colleagues, leaving the city. I know I’ll miss them so bad!


Anyway, this weekend I watched three movies on DVD. First one was Spike Lee’s Inside man. An interesting action movie that although very well made, but I’m afraid to say, totally predictable and without any new idea whatsoever. One of those movies to enjoy for two hours but to be forgotten, right before the after-movie-bathroom ritual!






The second one was Terry Zwigoff’s Art School Confidential. A pretty powerful comedy, criticizing the dysfunctional, annoying environment of art schools, where pretentious debates, ridiculous manifestations of knowledge and the amalgam of biases, destroy talents and originality, in a very destructive ambience.

The movie itself, though not a masterpiece, a very satisfying movie to watch and enjoy.





Third one was a French movie by Stephane Brize called Je ne suis pas la pour etre aime or I’m not there to be loved. A simple but deeply emotional film about a middle age man, falls in love with her young Tango partner who’s soon going to get married with her fiancé. A minimalist, romantic, realistic, touching, adorable and by far, unpretentious movie which is a true pleasure to watch. In my case, it reminded me that how my obsession to learn Tango is about to pass the stage of passion and become a disorder!

By the way, for the second time, I have my camera replaced, because of a LCD’s burnt pixel. I’m so happy with the Futureshop for doing the exchange, cause after more than two months, they were not legally obliged to do so and also, apparently the number of burnt pixels should exceed a certain limit so it can be called a defect! Anyway, the Future Shop located in AMC has the nicest, most helpful managers so I strongly recommend it for your future electronic purchases!

P.S. I was humiliatingly defeated in my third comprehensive campaign to clean my room, due to the feisty resistance of my unorganized bills and papers. Although I was promised by my chief of staff that the fourth attempt would be definitively successful!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Miserere

From the album Two Shoes by The Cat Empire...

Do you ever look around
turn your ear to the ground
show your face to the sky
on a night when the skies echoe sounds
from inside of your mind
on the stage that you shone
where the sun did become you
and move with your thoughts
through the sighs and the scenes
of the worlds you have seen
and the sights that have been
your reflection in shadows and dreams?
- your reflection in shadows and dreams

Did you ever see a man
who did walk down the street
white robe with no shoes on his feet
and on top of his head place a box with two slits
and the sign from his neck said
‘I do not exist’
or a woman who could not remember her name
did stutter and stutter
again and again
and saw you and called you her son
her eyes said
‘my being is gone
but still I’m not dead’?

Miserere

Have you ever seen a sound
have you listened to an image
have you ever touched a thought
have you ever tasted nothing
have you ever told a lie
that was true more than truth
because truth it had lied
all its life when it spoke to you?
And what did it say
it is that it is this
this goes here here is there
it is not yes it is
it was dulling your senses
your eyes they were bound
have you ever my friends
been looking around?

And the other replies
with a wave of a hand
I am already here
in this promised land
but not by a god and not by a king
and not by a spirit
deep from within
I am here
because a miracle’s a whim
it’s a flash of glory
it’s an empty tin
and maybe might lets you in
not to save you
but to keep on looking-

Miserere…

Have you ever
been so happy that you’re sad?
that the lights turn to stars
and the stars become eyes
and hello’s are goodbye’s
and the laughs are the sigh’s
and the show disappears with the note
‘until next time’

Long live living
if living can be this

Long live living
if living can be this

Long live living
if living can be this

Long live living
if living can be this

Do you ever look around
turn your ear to the ground
show your face to the sky
on a night when the skies echoe sounds
from inside of your mind
on the stage that you shone
where the sun did become you
and move with your thoughts
through the sighs and the scenes
of the worlds you have seen
and the sights that have been
your reflection in shadows and dreams
Do you ever look around
and find what is yet to be found?

Saturday, October 07, 2006

How do you feel about women's rights ? I like either side of them. (Groucho Maarx)

Sin City

I saw her again. It took me a month to get over her and there she was, right in front of me.

“Hey, it’s been a long time, where are you going?” she asked.

“Hey. I’m going to catch a movie, care to join?”, I replied as I was trying to play as calm as possible while my heart was coming out of my ears and my face was getting so hot, the thin layer of frost on my glasses was melting away!

“I love to. Which one are you going to watch?”

Sin city…it’s the recent work of Robert Rodriguez. It made a lot of fuss in Cannes this year. I saw the trailer and it looked pretty amazing”

“I saw the trailer too. It seems to be so violent and I’m not in the mood for that. Would you mind if we just sit down and have a coffee or something? I really missed talking to you.”

“Why on earth I loved her so much?! why on earth my fucking heart is still pumping so hard?! She’s the most average girl I’ve ever been with in every possible way…why I can’t get over her?!”

My heart disagreed. Apparently, the argument was not convincing enough for my stupid brain to stop pouring the deadly hormones of excitements into my veins, once again.

I couldn’t refuse the offer. I knew it was the most stupid decision that I could possibly make in that moment but I just couldn’t do otherwise!

Two years later, finally I watched the movie. She was right…the movie was sadistically violent, so graphically brutal. But I was right too. It was a masterpiece as I was expecting. One of the most stunning movies I’ve ever seen. Unbelievably brilliant!

I still couldn’t realize why I loved her once, but this time, I’m glad that my heart does agree with me, finally!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Somedays aren't yours at all,
They come and go
As if they're someone else's days
They come and leave you behind someone else's face
And it's harsher than yours
And colder than yours

They come in all quiet
Sweep up and then they leave
And you don't hear a single floor board creak
They're so much stronger
Than the friends you try to keep
By your side....


Regina Spektor
Somedays (from Soveit Kitsch)

Perfect mother

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Lady

Lady sing the blues so well
As if she mean it
As if it's hell down here
In the smoke-filled world
Where the jokes are cold
They don't laugh at jokes
They laugh at tragedies

Regina Spektor
Begin to hope

Have you ever been that tired?





Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Wish you were here...


What is he now, 63? You couldn’t guess. His age has been well hidden behind his nice, seemingly young posture and his thick cluster of grey hairs. He hasn’t changed that much nor the world he has been tastefully criticizing for more than three decades.

Wish you were here!

They still keep getting us to trade our heroes for ridiculous mediocre ghosts. "Hot ashes" are still the only deal we have for our rain forest trees, well maybe in addition to Limber and Soya!. Apparently we have no other choice than to exchange our "cool breeze" with the warmer-by-the-day globally hot air in the decades to come and finally, have we experienced such an annoying "cold comfort" ever before through out the history?!



Does it make any difference if Maggie should bring the child back home form Falkland or Tony from southern Iraq?

Pictures of Sadam, Bin Laden and Bush in Fletcher memorial was "a mute reminder" of the fact that although there are no Brezhnev or Begin anymore, or non of the group of Latin American meat packing glitterati are still in power, the world has never been in shortage of senseless, megalomaniac madman’s to be added to the Ghost of Mc Carhty!

And it seems, as much as we run over the same old ground, all that we find is the same old fears.

Pigs on the wings!

Anyway, Roger Water’s live in Montreal was much more than a usual rock concert for me as well as thousands of fans who had been gathered in Bell center, from curious sixteen years old teenagers to nostalgic men and women in their sixties. It was more a quasi-religious ceremony to admire a legend among the thick smoke from the scene, mixed with the thicker smoke from the audience’s weeds! where none of those elaborate details, like the fancy special effects, the humongous flying pig with the name of "Bush" on his ass, or none of those great performers like the impeccable black female back vocals or the lead guitarist who was also carrying the burden of an old man who couldn’t scream as loud as he did when he was young, were able to deviate the attention, even for a second, from the maestro himself, who was walking around in his black t-shirt with his base guitar and taking pleasure of the his numerous fan’s genuinely sincere and unstoppable applause, possibly for the last times!



At the end and before leaving the scene, he looked at the crowd and shouted, Montreal, I’ll be back…Roger, we both know that you most probably wouldn’t, but thanks anyway, for the music I heard with you and for fulfilling one of my life-long dreams, to see you, live in concert.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

"In a zoo in California, a mother tiger gave birth to a rare set of
triplet tiger cubs. Unfortunately, due to complications in the
pregnancy, the cubs were born prematurely and due to their tiny size,
they died shortly after birth.

The mother tiger after recovering from the delivery, suddenly started
to decline in health, although physically she was fine. The
veterinarians felt that the loss of her litter had caused the tigress to fall into a
depression. The doctors decided that if the tigress could surrogate
another mother's cubs, perhaps she would improve.

After checking with many other zoos across the country, the depressing
news was that there were no tiger cubs of the right age to introduce to
the mourning mother. The veterinarians decided to try something that
had never been tried in a zoo environment. Sometimes a mother of one
species will take on the care of a different species. The only orphans"
that could be found quickly, were a litter of weaner pigs. The zoo
keepers and vets wrapped the piglets in tiger skin and placed the
babies around the mother tiger. Would they become cubs or pork chops??
Take a look........ you won't believe your eyes!!"





Saturday, September 16, 2006

The great journalist, writer and controversial interviewer and surly one of my favorite women of all time, Oriana Fallaci, died yesterday, in a hospital in Florence.
I personally, will never forget some of her unbelievably courageous interviews specially those with Shah, Khomeini and Kissinger. She was one of those phenomenons that can hardly be replaced any time soon.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

The magic of Beshkan!

We Iranian claim a plethora of the world’s civilization’s advancements and heritages which to me, where sometimes is not far from the reality, almost always is much too exaggerated indeed.

However, I have to admit we’ve offered the humanity something uniquely exquisite which is our good old “Beshkan”! and to my big surprise, although we’ve never tried to keep the technique as secret, like Chinese people and their whole silk production procedure, it has been remained so far mostly in our hands to the point, you can almost recognize an Iranian by his or her “Beshkaning” skills!

Apart from its intended purpose, which is to accompany the notorious “Shish o Hasht!” beat, and the fact that it suits “Baba Karam” so well, it has an unbelievable use in daily life of an immigrant in Canada.

Whenever you’re stuck in an unpleasant discussion, you’ve made a politically incorrect comment that has been created an awkward silence or you’re involved in a debate where there’s absolutely no way out, just do the “Beshkan” out of the blue and watch how this little Persian heritage draws the attention stronger than Scarlet Johnson’s ass and changes the subject quicker than “Bin Laden is going to attack soon!”

I also want to propose to Iran’s delegation to UN, to use “Beshkan” to diverge other delegation’s attention from the nuclear issue to this seemingly simple but elaborate noise-making machine! Just imagine the look on John Bolton’s frustrated face, combined with his “Sha’boon-Type” mustache, asking Mr. Larijani “How was that?! Am I doing it right? Why mine isn’t making any sound?!” while he’s trying to imitate the hand posture!

I’m sure if Bush knew how to do it, he would use it in every white house press conferences, singing “Injaa beshkanam yaar geleh daare! Oonjaa behkanam yaar gele daareh (Public would bitch about me, no matter what I do!)” “pas nemishkanam (So to hell with the opinion poles!)”

And all the reporters would reply “Beshkan (Come on!!!)”

And the fox news correspondent would say “chegade balaaii delbar…namiri elaahi delbar! (We’re going to suck up no matter what you do or say!”

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Monday, September 11, 2006

Pablo

Pablo is sitting down on the pavement in front of a chessboard. Everything has been set up. A timer, a Jamaican flag for his side and a flag of Quebec for the opponent’s.

Pablo

His father needs treatment and he needs money for that. He doesn’t ask you for money, he challenges you to beat him in a chess game. Fare and square!

You have 3 minutes to win, but if you look at his sharp, determined face, you’ll realize that it won’t be easy.

Photo 1 - Photo 2 - Photo 3



Friday, September 08, 2006

Why we live?

You have no idea how much I envy religious people. If you’re religious, the answer is simple. In fact, all the answers are simple. God wants us to do this, God wants this to be that way and so on…it’s very much like spelling French. Those 11 letters at the end of that word are mute and don’t ask why. That’s the way it is!

All you have to do is to read your holy book, or as I’d like to call them, “everything you need to know about everything!” and if you still haven’t read it (which ironically is quite common among religious people!) and you don’t feel like reading it either, you can ask the next clergy you see, next time you go to your mosque, synagogue, church or temple.

Seriously, if you’re lucky enough to be able to believe in “The great book of fairy tales for grown ups”, It is that simple. No excavation, no theory, no experimentation, no logic, no thinking of any kind and most importantly, no conscience, whatsoever. After all, you’re doing what God's told you to do, so why bother!

Anyway, I’d come back from the hospital. Tiered and depressed. I thought, “there is only two things in the world that can possibly make me happy right now, a cute furry kitty or a Woody Allen’s movie!”. Since obviously I didn’t have any choice, I took my glass of port, and started watching one of the Woody’s Masterpieces, Manhattan.

Five minutes to the end, there was this amazing scene which I absolutely adore, in which, Woody (here Isaac) is so depressed and in a self-therapeutically action, he lies down on a couch, recording his voice as if he’s talking to a shrink. He’s asking himself….

"Why is life worth living? It's a very good question. Um... Well, There are certain things I guess that make it worthwhile. uh... Like what... okay... um... For me, uh... ooh... I would say... what, Groucho Marx, to name one thing... uh... um... and Wilie Mays... and um... the 2nd movement of the Jupiter Symphony... and um... Louis Armstrong, recording of Potato Head Blues... um... Swedish movies, naturally... Sentimental Education by Flaubert... uh... Marlon Brando, Frank Sinatra... um... those incredible Apples and Pears by Cezanne... uh... the crabs at Sam Wo's... uh... Tracy's face... "

And then, I closed my eyes I though about all the beautiful things for which, life worth living for. And the list went on and on and on and on….

it’s so good to be alive…even as an agnostic!

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Parking lot in Munich


An absolutely amazing commercial!

Hezb-o-llah! insurance company!

Elephant in the room!

In the South East Asia, where elephants are widely used as a mean of transport as well as to carry heavy stuff, an intriguing technique is implemented to tame them which simply is tying the baby elephant’s foot, with a strong rope to a massive tree, on a regular basis so the efforts of the baby elephant to rescue itself remain fruitless.
As the elephant grows up, the poor creature, gradually accepts that the tree is always stronger and eventually stops even trying to get rid of the rope.
As soon as the illusion established, they can tie a huge elephant to a relatively weak trunk of tree with a tiny rope and the animal will stand still like a little puppy, tied up to a Parcometer!

As I was reading the article, I tried to remember, what was the last time I made a serious effort to examine the seemingly unbreakable ropes and the invincible trees, tying me to the ground, to see maybe I’ve become strong enough to break them apart! Can you remember your last effort?

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

They keep on burying our dead
They keep on planting their bones in the ground
But they won't grow
The sun doesn't help
The rain doesn't help
And all we've got is a giant crop of names
And dates...

Regina Spektor - Lacrimosa

By the way, She’s coming to Montréal this October. Anybody wants to come?

the Cutest ever!
That' s so fuuny and beautiful

Sunday, September 03, 2006

I found the meaning of life, the height of the creation!

Check out Melissa Theuriau, this inexpressibly desirable French Anchor.

We really do need more of the anchors like her to at least, make the constant flow of catastrophically painful news, a touch more bearable!

Scream of the ants

Shahr e Zobaale haa (Scream of the ants)”, Mohsen Makhmalbaf’s latest movie, is a story about a couple, a mildly spiritual/religious woman and an seemingly atheist/ex-communist, spending their honey moon, traveling through India to meet “the complete man”. A philosophical journey through which, Makhmalbaf tries to portray human suffering; and I have to admit that he has been quite successful since at least I, experienced an excruciating pain watching two extremely untalented actors, uttering the most stupid, cheesy, retarded ideas for the whole 91 insufferable minutes!

The whole film can be summarized as a sequence of some truly magnificent scenery and exquisite cinematography that has been completely ruined by the idiocy of a man who knows how to use his camera but not his brain!

Inject the content of a gravely depressed, high school teenager’s diary, edited by his housewife mother, into a very well made documentary about India and voila, you’d have “Scream of the Ants”!

Couldn’t anybody around Makhmalbaf reminded him that since 15th century, the question “Why God has created poor people?” has not been considered a philosophical question for God’s sake, but the one a six years old might ask the parents over the dinner table!?

And you know what can make those “100 philosophical questions for mentally challenged Soccer mom’s” even more intolerable?! Asking two actors, whose acts are unacceptable even by the standards of a kindergarten’s play about talking pumpkins, recite them out loud, in a way that can easily be outdone even by a well-trained parrot!

Apart from two monologues; one by the guru-type who allegedly stops the train by his eyes, and the other by the German monk, who for some reasons, speaks English with a funny Indian accent; one can find the most idiotic, unreasonable, childish ideas, expressed in the most banal, unnatural and corny way possible in a movie which is so shattered that nothing, even all those mind-blowing scenes and even the exquisite beauty of the actress, “Mahnour Shadzi” (VOA’s dazzling gorgeous anchor, also known as “Luna shad”), can make it a dash less painful to watch.

Put this movie next to M. Night Shyamalan’s recent disaster, Lady in the water, and you’ll have every possible reason to burn down a movie theatre and feel happy about it!

For heaven's sake, can somebody tell me how a woman, so preoccupied by spirituality doesn’t know who Dalai Lama is?!!

Dear Makhmalbaf, that Scream was not from the ants, but from those wretched audience in the theatre, who couldn’t fool their badly-insulted intellects, even with all those eye-catching, artistically-done images. When a skillful pianist has a horrendous, crow-like voice, maybe he should just shut up and not overshadow his brilliance in playing the instrument, by his unforgivable voice! Please keep your philosophical point of views to yourself and do not scream them in our ears.

Just by doing that, you can make the world, slightly a better place!

Friday, September 01, 2006

An apology!

I'm sorry. It's been a while I haven't written anything serious.

There're myriad of reasons for that. I have not been quite in the mood recently. I'm spending a lot of my time working and the rest in the hospital, visiting my friend and as you may well know, none of those places are fun or inspiring whatsoever. I'm not even in love, to write some romantic stuff or poetic crap for God's sake!

Although I have to admit that a super cute intern; a beautiful, tall, dark-haired, Persian MD, makes the hospital's environment much more pleasing, but it takes far more than that for a hospital's atmosphere, one the most depressing places in the world for me, to be able to be considered tolerable.

In the past two weeks, I thought a lot about making some drastic changes in my life, like taking my camera and travel to Tibet, but then I realized that I need money for that so I need to work and consequently I was remembered why we work in he first place!

So for now, I'm going to keep on working but meanwhile injecting some entertainment to my life, like starting to learn a new dance probably, doing extensive photography, exploring new restaurants and café in town and enjoying my new camera, all in addition to my regular reading-and-watching-movie-ritual! I'm also thinking about taking some courses at school. Besides, Woody Allen's short stories, a buried treasure that was uncovered for me by my brilliant intellectual yet fun and crazy friend, Naz, are on the way (from Amazon!) and also, the Canadian fall, short but breathtaking, is coming soon for us to squeeze every second of it.

I expect each one of those; give me tons of new materials and motivation as well, to write. We'll see.

I also look forward to my upcoming trip to Toronto in two weeks. Although TO is not my favorite town but I've always heavily enjoyed my short but fruitful stays there and it was full of great surprises most of the times. Not to forget that some of my dearest friends live there, and I add to this wonderful collection some new pieces every time. Speaking of good friends, thanks Maryam and Naz for your great moral support during this period. You have no idea how much I appreciated it.

By the way, I’m thinking about moving to Europe and start studying something completely different, like studying architecture in Barcelona or Prague for example. I just want to experience studying something exciting in an old European town, before it’s too late. Well, I’m not going to do that soon, but soon enough and certainly before I become a money-addict, mortgage-owed, workaholic gear in the capitalism’s elaborate machine (and this has nothing to do with my recent Castro story :)). Any interesting idea about what to do and where to go, would be immensely welcomed.

P.S. Long weekend, I love you so much.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

No Comment!

Like an entrepreneur virgin!

An amazing news for Madonna Lovers

First of all, I’m not one of you! I never was a fan but I have to admit, I’ve always hugely admired the brilliant talent of this Pop-Goddess to stay on top for such a surprisingly lengthy period, in such an immensely competitive business.

And now, one of the well-known business schools of Europe, European school of management and technology in Berlin, is offering a course called “Madonna Case Study” in which her unique strategies to re-invent herself so frequently and so successfully, are being taught as effective tools for managers in similar competitive, rapidly-changing industries, such as cell phone or computer industry.

Now, why Madonna? The fact is, despite of her limited resources, considering that she’s not the best singer, dancer or even the most charming lady in this business, she has always managed to retain her position as the queen of pop, throughout the remarkably long period of more than two decades.

Her deep understanding of the nature of the business she’s working in, her courage and ingenuity to re-invent herself according to the markets needs and developments, her ability to change her business partners to form the right crew for the right target, and last but not least, her progressive attitude to shape the new trends instead of just following them, has made Madonna, not just a pop icon, but a business Guru from whom, managers and leaders can learn a lot.

So, next time you go to her concert, think of it as an entrepreneurial seminar and have less fun! :)

Sunday, August 20, 2006

People please…

Leave Lebanese and Israelis alone! It doesn’t matter who won…they didn’t fight to win…they were just doing it for the good of the game! To burn some testosterone….a manly thing! Cave-manly, but still manly!

The fact that both sides consider themselves winner of this little war, makes it so cute…like it was a win-win situation from the beginning…

Sure some people died, some lost their everything, billions of dollars went down the drain, the environment got screwed and nobody really understood what was that all about, but at least I’m happy that everybody seems to get what they were looking for….everybody won…everybody’s happy…no hard feelings….

Just like a fun game in a kid’s birthday party…only this time, with an awful a lot of dead children involved!

Little Miss Sunshine

By far on of the smartest comedy I’ve seen in years, next to Sideways

A brilliantly sharp and ingenious satire in all its glory that will make you laugh and will make you cry but it sure won’t let you down, any time during the whole 101 minutes.

This seemingly usual road movie, is everything but usual. To be honest, I can’t think of anything that can be altered or improved, to make it even a notch better than what it is.

A magnificent plot, well-tailored characters, simple but stunning cinematography, brilliant acting, witty conversations and my favorite part, dark, sarcastic, biting yet still funny humor, which truly is a full-size caricature, mocking the American dreams and the stupidity that surrounds it.

And the most interesting advantage of this masterpiece is the perfect balance between all the elements, comic and emotional moments or physical and verbal comedy. It criticizes everything but gets nowhere near preaching or being a lecture in anytime whatsoever.

If you watch that movie and don’t like it, please don’t talk to me ever again!

It's not a poem!

If I knew,
I would live for a year…
And only a year

Would I spend so much time,
In front of the computer
Every day?

Would I pay mortgage,
Or save money?
For the house I’d never own
for the plans, I’d never catch?

Would I be afraid
Of jumping from a cliff?
Or from a plane?
With a parachute!
Or with nothing at all?

Or I would,
Pack my backpack
And walk around the world,
take my camera
And freeze every second,
Of the remaining of my life?

Would I care that the girl I like,
Is six years older than me?
Or the water pipe is
Bad for my health?

Or I would tell,
Every beautiful girl in the street
How voluptuous they are,
Under the August's sun,

How many places I haven’t seen,
How many wines I haven’t tasted,
How many lips I haven’t kissed

If I knew I’d
live for a year,
and only for a year,

I would ask myself,
How locust would taste like,
How sleeping in a desert,
Would feel like

I would be drunk,
High,
Every moment,
Every day

Now,

Who’s given me the guaranty
That I’ll have even a year...
That I’m living like
I’m going to live
For ever

Friday, August 18, 2006

I’m really tired…not just tried…Sick and tired and I will beat the crap out of the next person who gives me a terrible news!

For God’s sake, somebody pick up the damn phone and give me a good news….I don’t know what and I don’t care about the subject! Just something pleasant….seriously…anything will do….

P.S. Thanks Martina…at least you’re winning and it always makes me happy…

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Trunk Monkey!

Very Funny Commercial

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four

Elephant Shoes

A modern look at love. 12 hours, 12 lifetimes... A half day relationship.



I rent the DVD as a Saturday afternoon entertainment, you know, a romantic comedy, not too cheesy not to heavy, to put you in the mood, but it was too damn good! Seriously, I’m impressed, big time!

If you haven’t seen this low budget, remarkably genuine, surprisingly surreal yet realistic, super creative movie, just take my word and do it. Believe me, you won’t regret. It’s just amazing!

How Golf was created, by Robin Williams

Friday, August 11, 2006

this is how it works
you're young until you're not
you love until you don't
you try until you can't
you laugh until you cry
you cry until you laugh
and everyone must breathe
until their dying breath

this is how it works
you peer inside yourself
you take the things you like
and try to love the things you took
and then you take that love you made
and stick it into some--
someone else's heart
pumping someone else's blood
and walking arm in arm
you hope it don't get harmed
but even if it does
you'll just do it all again

on the radio
you hear november rain
that solo's awful long
but it's a good refrain
you listen to it twice
cause the dj is asleep

on the radio...

Regina Spektor
On the radio (Begin to Hope)

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Begin to hope

Although I’d seen her before in Conan O’Brien’s show, I have no idea if she’s already that famous or not. I’ve discovered the music of Regina Spektor about a week ago. in fact, her music and her lyrics are so original and strange, and to some extent weird, that it takes time to get used to her.

She reminds me of Bjork but a more liberated, more childish version of her (it’s hard to imagine anyone more liberated than Bjork, ha?!). The music, with simple piano tunes and cold peculiar chords is more strange than delightful. The lyrics are movingly eccentric and to me, quite charming. Her style of singing is genuinely unique and deliciously free and her occasional breathing in the middle of the sentences, like little children, is incredibly cute.

I’m not suggesting that you’d like her, but her music and her style of singing is so different from everything you’ve ever heard that you have to give it a try, at least for the sake of the experience!

Start with her older albums, try Daniel Cowman, Bon idée or prisoners from the album Songs and Whisper and My Honor from the album Soviet Kitch. From her new album, begin to hope, which is less experimental hence more enjoyable, fidelity, Apres moi and On the radio are my picks.

Enjoy her...

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

A must-see documentary about the Middle East conflict. Don’t miss it. It’s a bit long but worth every second.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

The always-angry guy, George Galloway, in an interview with sky network, speaks out about the war in Lebanon!
Although I don’t quite agree with his position, it’s nice to hear something different and amazingly brave from a politician. The neutral and politically-correct stand of almost all of them makes me vomit these days!

Ode to an ass!

Tatoo

This Saturday morning, as I was walking in downtown, I noticed the overcrowded Crescent Street as if there was an event going on. (Cause there’s always something cheesy going on there!). As I got closer, I found out there was a motorcycle show, accompanied by the two remaining of the stereotype stupid American male’s trinity, bikini blondes and beer!

To be honest, I really find elegant women who ride motorcycles to work, quite sexy and also I would buy a scooter for myself if I was living in a city with a more humane climate, but that’s the extent of my interest to the subject of motorcycle and I’m not ashamed of that, even as a mechanical engineer!

As I was passing by, I noticed a big stand, loud music and some kinky-dressed models that were not just cat walking but performing a mélange of Modern Ballet and Latin dance on the runway. The mixture of the soft and expressive dance with the tough, red neck-ish! style of Harley Davidson’s models and clothing, had made such an ironically amusing situation that it was hard to be overlooked, specially by a photographer, carrying his camera!

So I stopped and took some photos which didn’t come out quite well due to my camera’s annoying shutter lag!

During the shooting ritual, a tattoo, which seemed to be a phrase or a quote, on one of the models upper thigh, somewhere close to her generously-proportioned butt, caught my eyes! So I took a picture from that tattooed phrase and its voluptuous canvas and put it in my flickr!

To my big surprise and only in 2 hours, 400 people viewed this photo which is almost 15 times more than average viewers that I have for a non-butt-included picture in a week! but before I let this little experiment annoy me, I remembered the wise advice of the butt-writing that “Don’t worry about the things you can’t control”

People of the world, you need to get laid….big time!

Monday, August 07, 2006

http://www.truemajorityaction.org/oreos/
Solving world’s problems for absolutely dummies.

Give peace a chance


Give peace a chance
Originally uploaded by Mar-yam.

It’s a poster Maryam has made, putting some kid’s pictures together.

For everyone else, it’s just a bunch of kids, but for me, since I know lots of those former kids, veterans of the childhood now, Maryam herself, Kiavesh, Rana and myself (two times!), it’s quite fun to look at.

Even if you don’t know anyone here, I suppose it’s still nice enough to be enjoyed.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

My Saturday!

Yesterday, I was introduced to this lazy chubby furry creature. She was sooooo adorable. A bit timid, but beautiful and funny. A cat to die for!

The sad part was my stupid allergy that I’ve developed to cats in Canada! I've tried my best to deny it but I’m afraid I have to admit and live with it.

Only two more allergies, to women and to wine, and I would welcome death!

Anyway, we went to a movie afterwards. It was Night Shyamalan’s recent film, Lady in the Water, in which he also acts too, and I want to say to him "Way to go Mr. Shyamalan! It needs a tremendous amount of talent to make such a load of CRAP!"

It was by far, one of the worst movie that I’ve seen in years. Words cannot begin to describe how much it sucked.

The first 5 minutes was promising, but later on, it got worse and worse and it finished with an appalling, shameful finale, a suitable ending for this horrendous, dreadful bullshit! In fact, someone has to tell this young director that instead of saving the world by inspiring leaders through your writing, what his character is supposed to do in the movie, try to read and watch some good books movies instead!

Now that I’m thinking, even the Sixth Sense wasn’t that good. It was only good enough for someone’s first movie, but in any case, Lady in the water was a eulogy for the promising director of Sixth sense, Period!

Anyway, don’t waste your precious time on this movie. It’s horrible by any standard and it’s not even scary or entertaining. it can be placed in a dictionary, right in front of the word, Disastrous!

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Monster House

Monster House, a new animation directed by Gil Kenan , is a profound, different, multi-layered, well-executed and quite entertaining animation which has been specially made for 3D screening.

A very well-written scenario about a monstrous house who eats everyone who's messing with it and three kids who are trying to stop the house from eating children of the neighborhood, right before the Halloween, where a lot of them are expected to go there for Trick or Treat!

Apart from the astonishing animation and the fact that watching anything in 3D is way more fun, the design of the characters in the movie is incredible. The vicious house and the way it transforms itself from an old, wooden residence to a hideous monster, is truly noticeable, particularly the harmonious cooperation of the house's trees and lawns, to fulfill the vicious plots. The old man who lives in there, is scary even for someone at my age, let alone children and the three kids, not only are adorable but pretty believable too. The two boy’s restless efforts to impress the girl and their subtle competition over her, is genuinely funny.

Even the less important characters are equally interesting and well-portrayed. The cool, sexy, slightly bitchy babysitter, Elizabeth, is very alive and quite entertaining to watch. The super nerdy, video game geek is just hilarious and the two police officers, particularly the young, inexperienced black one, are seriously amusing.

To me, it was by far the best animation of the year (or any year) and although I still haven’t seen Cars, I doubt that anything can top the breath taking 3D experience of the Monster House, anytime soon.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

5. My favorite 101

My only problem with the Alternative Rock is the mood it creates for me. Surely it’s not how it works for everyone but in my case, it illustrates a cold and gloomy image of the modern world, full of machines, wires, metals and insecurities. Unlike the colorful, vibrant and always joyous ambience of jazz (even in its saddest songs) or amazingly calming nature-like mood of baroque or delightful, nostalgic homey feeling of middle eastern tunes, the alternative rocks usually portraits a dark, depressing environment that I adore to experience briefly but I certainly don’t want to stay in it for too long to be frank!

Expectedly, you’d seldom see me in a concert where this genre is being played but you’d find fairly decent amount of alternative rock in my ipod’s Top-rated playlist.

Today’s pick is one of those favorites, from a stunningly good album called love is here from the band Starsailor. This is one of the rare examples of this genre that I surprisingly don’t mind listening to it for hours and although all the songs in this album are quite remarkable, my big-time favorite is Tie up my hands.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Our old friend, TinTin


A friend and a classmate of my sister, Nicolas, who’s a serious fan of B.D, pointed out a very intricate issue with regard to my, and a good portion of my generation’s favorite B.D of all time, the adventures of TinTin.

That interesting point is the surprising absence of female characters and feminity in general, in the whole series of TinTin comics.

Since I haven’t brought any of my vast B.D collection with myself to Canada, I had no choice but to refer to my memory which in this case, due to my childhood’s excessive reading of every book of Tintin, is credible enough I suppose! So if my memory serves me right, I can’t think of any female character whatsoever but the fat, annoying, pain in the ass, Bianca Castafiore! The rest are all men, both good and evil. Tintin, Haddock, Tournesol, Doupont et Dupond, Nestor, Seraphin Lampion, General Alcazar, Rastapopoulos and the list goes on. Even the dog, Milou, is obviously a male dog.

And that’s not all. There is no romance, no fling, no recollection of any relationship in the past, neither for Tintin, nor for any of the major characters in the story.

I’m wondering, how Hergé have managed to eliminate the whole concept of feminity and everything around it like love, romance, sex, relationship or even a simple flirting, from such a diverse and popular B.D, without anybody even noticing it or feels the absence of it.. Well at least, none of my friends, most of which are die-hard fan of Tintin, had ever mentioned it before!

As I’ve already talked about , I don’t have my Tintin collection with me and I’m not going to Chapters for it, so if anybody remembers anything that contradicts this theory, please let me know.

Final word is, up to now, I was thinking that those college year’s poker nights were the only time that I had so much fun without the presence of any female character. Turns out that I should add to it, the whole experience of Tintin reading!


P.S. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a geek, I’m just interested in this issue as a social phenomenon. :)