Thursday, September 14, 2006

The magic of Beshkan!

We Iranian claim a plethora of the world’s civilization’s advancements and heritages which to me, where sometimes is not far from the reality, almost always is much too exaggerated indeed.

However, I have to admit we’ve offered the humanity something uniquely exquisite which is our good old “Beshkan”! and to my big surprise, although we’ve never tried to keep the technique as secret, like Chinese people and their whole silk production procedure, it has been remained so far mostly in our hands to the point, you can almost recognize an Iranian by his or her “Beshkaning” skills!

Apart from its intended purpose, which is to accompany the notorious “Shish o Hasht!” beat, and the fact that it suits “Baba Karam” so well, it has an unbelievable use in daily life of an immigrant in Canada.

Whenever you’re stuck in an unpleasant discussion, you’ve made a politically incorrect comment that has been created an awkward silence or you’re involved in a debate where there’s absolutely no way out, just do the “Beshkan” out of the blue and watch how this little Persian heritage draws the attention stronger than Scarlet Johnson’s ass and changes the subject quicker than “Bin Laden is going to attack soon!”

I also want to propose to Iran’s delegation to UN, to use “Beshkan” to diverge other delegation’s attention from the nuclear issue to this seemingly simple but elaborate noise-making machine! Just imagine the look on John Bolton’s frustrated face, combined with his “Sha’boon-Type” mustache, asking Mr. Larijani “How was that?! Am I doing it right? Why mine isn’t making any sound?!” while he’s trying to imitate the hand posture!

I’m sure if Bush knew how to do it, he would use it in every white house press conferences, singing “Injaa beshkanam yaar geleh daare! Oonjaa behkanam yaar gele daareh (Public would bitch about me, no matter what I do!)” “pas nemishkanam (So to hell with the opinion poles!)”

And all the reporters would reply “Beshkan (Come on!!!)”

And the fox news correspondent would say “chegade balaaii delbar…namiri elaahi delbar! (We’re going to suck up no matter what you do or say!”