Scream of the ants

“Shahr e Zobaale haa (Scream of the ants)”, Mohsen Makhmalbaf’s latest movie, is a story about a couple, a mildly spiritual/religious woman and an seemingly atheist/ex-communist, spending their honey moon, traveling through India to meet “the complete man”. A philosophical journey through which, Makhmalbaf tries to portray human suffering; and I have to admit that he has been quite successful since at least I, experienced an excruciating pain watching two extremely untalented actors, uttering the most stupid, cheesy, retarded ideas for the whole 91 insufferable minutes!

The whole film can be summarized as a sequence of some truly magnificent scenery and exquisite cinematography that has been completely ruined by the idiocy of a man who knows how to use his camera but not his brain!

Inject the content of a gravely depressed, high school teenager’s diary, edited by his housewife mother, into a very well made documentary about India and voila, you’d have “Scream of the Ants”!

Couldn’t anybody around Makhmalbaf reminded him that since 15^th century, the question “Why God has created poor people?” has not been considered a philosophical question for God’s sake, but the one a six years old might ask the parents over the dinner table!?

And you know what can make those “100 philosophical questions for mentally challenged Soccer mom’s” even more intolerable?! Asking two actors, whose acts are unacceptable even by the standards of a kindergarten’s play about talking pumpkins, recite them out loud, in a way that can easily be outdone even by a well-trained parrot!

Apart from two monologues; one by the guru-type who allegedly stops the train by his eyes, and the other by the German monk, who for some reasons, speaks English with a funny Indian accent; one can find the most idiotic, unreasonable, childish ideas, expressed in the most banal, unnatural and corny way possible in a movie which is so shattered that nothing, even all those mind-blowing scenes and even the exquisite beauty of the actress, “Mahnour Shadzi” (VOA’s dazzling gorgeous anchor, also known as “Luna shad”), can make it a dash less painful to watch.

Put this movie next to M. Night Shyamalan’s recent disaster, Lady in the water, and you’ll have every possible reason to burn down a movie theatre and feel happy about it!

For heaven's sake, can somebody tell me how a woman, so preoccupied by spirituality doesn’t know who Dalai Lama is?!!

Dear Makhmalbaf, that Scream was not from the ants, but from those wretched audience in the theatre, who couldn’t fool their badly-insulted intellects, even with all those eye-catching, artistically-done images. When a skillful pianist has a horrendous, crow-like voice, maybe he should just shut up and not overshadow his brilliance in playing the instrument, by his unforgivable voice! Please keep your philosophical point of views to yourself and do not scream them in our ears.

Just by doing that, you can make the world, slightly a better place!

An apology!

I'm sorry. It's been a while I haven't written anything serious.

There're myriad of reasons for that. I have not been quite in the mood recently. I'm spending a lot of my time working and the rest in the hospital, visiting my friend and as you may well know, none of those places are fun or inspiring whatsoever. I'm not even in love, to write some romantic stuff or poetic crap for God's sake!

Although I have to admit that a super cute intern; a beautiful, tall, dark-haired, Persian MD, makes the hospital's environment much more pleasing, but it takes far more than that for a hospital's atmosphere, one the most depressing places in the world for me, to be able to be considered tolerable.

In the past two weeks, I thought a lot about making some drastic changes in my life, like taking my camera and travel to Tibet, but then I realized that I need money for that so I need to work and consequently I was remembered why we work in he first place!

So for now, I'm going to keep on working but meanwhile injecting some entertainment to my life, like starting to learn a new dance probably, doing extensive photography, exploring new restaurants and café in town and enjoying my new camera, all in addition to my regular reading-and-watching-movie-ritual! I'm also thinking about taking some courses at school. Besides, Woody Allen's short stories, a buried treasure that was uncovered for me by my brilliant intellectual yet fun and crazy friend, Naz, are on the way (from Amazon!) and also, the Canadian fall, short but breathtaking, is coming soon for us to squeeze every second of it.

I expect each one of those; give me tons of new materials and motivation as well, to write. We'll see.

I also look forward to my upcoming trip to Toronto in two weeks. Although TO is not my favorite town but I've always heavily enjoyed my short but fruitful stays there and it was full of great surprises most of the times. Not to forget that some of my dearest friends live there, and I add to this wonderful collection some new pieces every time. Speaking of good friends, thanks Maryam and Naz for your great moral support during this period. You have no idea how much I appreciated it.

By the way, I’m thinking about moving to Europe and start studying something completely different, like studying architecture in Barcelona or Prague for example. I just want to experience studying something exciting in an old European town, before it’s too late. Well, I’m not going to do that soon, but soon enough and certainly before I become a money-addict, mortgage-owed, workaholic gear in the capitalism’s elaborate machine (and this has nothing to do with my recent Castro story :)). Any interesting idea about what to do and where to go, would be immensely welcomed.

P.S. Long weekend, I love you so much.

Some sexy yet witty T-shirts

He would have been so funny if he hadn’t had so much power over our life and our future!

Forget about David Copperfied…this is the coolest magician, ever!

No Comment!

Like an entrepreneur virgin!

An amazing news for Madonna Lovers

First of all, I’m not one of you! I never was a fan but I have to admit, I’ve always hugely admired the brilliant talent of this Pop-Goddess to stay on top for such a surprisingly lengthy period, in such an immensely competitive business.

And now, one of the well-known business schools of Europe, European school of management and technology in Berlin, is offering a course called “Madonna Case Study” in which her unique strategies to re-invent herself so frequently and so successfully, are being taught as effective tools for managers in similar competitive, rapidly-changing industries, such as cell phone or computer industry.

Now, why Madonna? The fact is, despite of her limited resources, considering that she’s not the best singer, dancer or even the most charming lady in this business, she has always managed to retain her position as the queen of pop, throughout the remarkably long period of more than two decades.

Her deep understanding of the nature of the business she’s working in, her courage and ingenuity to re-invent herself according to the markets needs and developments, her ability to change her business partners to form the right crew for the right target, and last but not least, her progressive attitude to shape the new trends instead of just following them, has made Madonna, not just a pop icon, but a business Guru from whom, managers and leaders can learn a lot.

So, next time you go to her concert, think of it as an entrepreneurial seminar and have less fun! :)

This is certainly stretching the boundary of being CUTE!

People please…

Leave Lebanese and Israelis alone! It doesn’t matter who won…they didn’t fight to win…they were just doing it for the good of the game! To burn some testosterone….a manly thing! Cave-manly, but still manly!

The fact that both sides consider themselves winner of this little war, makes it so cute…like it was a win-win situation from the beginning…

Sure some people died, some lost their everything, billions of dollars went down the drain, the environment got screwed and nobody really understood what was that all about, but at least I’m happy that everybody seems to get what they were looking for….everybody won…everybody’s happy…no hard feelings….

Just like a fun game in a kid’s birthday party…only this time, with an awful a lot of dead children involved!

Little Miss Sunshine

By far on of the smartest comedy I’ve seen in years, next to Sideways

A brilliantly sharp and ingenious satire in all its glory that will make you laugh and will make you cry but it sure won’t let you down, any time during the whole 101 minutes.

This seemingly usual road movie, is everything but usual. To be honest, I can’t think of anything that can be altered or improved, to make it even a notch better than what it is.

A magnificent plot, well-tailored characters, simple but stunning cinematography, brilliant acting, witty conversations and my favorite part, dark, sarcastic, biting yet still funny humor, which truly is a full-size caricature, mocking the American dreams and the stupidity that surrounds it.

And the most interesting advantage of this masterpiece is the perfect balance between all the elements, comic and emotional moments or physical and verbal comedy. It criticizes everything but gets nowhere near preaching or being a lecture in anytime whatsoever.

If you watch that movie and don’t like it, please don’t talk to me ever again!

It's not a poem!

If I knew,
I would live for a year…
And only a year

Would I spend so much time,
In front of the computer
Every day?

Would I pay mortgage,
Or save money?
For the house I’d never own
for the plans, I’d never catch?

Would I be afraid
Of jumping from a cliff?
Or from a plane?
With a parachute!
Or with nothing at all?

Or I would,
Pack my backpack
And walk around the world,
take my camera
And freeze every second,
Of the remaining of my life?

Would I care that the girl I like,
Is six years older than me?
Or the water pipe is
Bad for my health?

Or I would tell,
Every beautiful girl in the street
How voluptuous they are,
Under the August's sun,

How many places I haven’t seen,
How many wines I haven’t tasted,
How many lips I haven’t kissed

If I knew I’d
live for a year,
and only for a year,

I would ask myself,
How locust would taste like,
How sleeping in a desert,
Would feel like

I would be drunk,
High,
Every moment,
Every day

Now,

Who’s given me the guaranty
That I’ll have even a year...
That I’m living like
I’m going to live
For ever

I’m really tired…not just tried…Sick and tired and I will beat the crap out of the next person who gives me a terrible news!

For God’s sake, somebody pick up the damn phone and give me a good news….I don’t know what and I don’t care about the subject! Just something pleasant….seriously…anything will do….

P.S. Thanks Martina…at least you’re winning and it always makes me happy…

Trunk Monkey!

Very Funny Commercial

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four

Elephant Shoes

A modern look at love. 12 hours, 12 lifetimes... A half day relationship.

I rent the DVD as a Saturday afternoon entertainment, you know, a romantic comedy, not too cheesy not to heavy, to put you in the mood, but it was too damn good! Seriously, I’m impressed, big time!

If you haven’t seen this low budget, remarkably genuine, surprisingly surreal yet realistic, super creative movie, just take my word and do it. Believe me, you won’t regret. It’s just amazing!

How Golf was created, by Robin Williams

this is how it works
you're young until you're not
you love until you don't
you try until you can't
you laugh until you cry
you cry until you laugh
and everyone must breathe
until their dying breath

this is how it works
you peer inside yourself
you take the things you like
and try to love the things you took
and then you take that love you made
and stick it into some--
someone else's heart
pumping someone else's blood
and walking arm in arm
you hope it don't get harmed
but even if it does
you'll just do it all again

on the radio
you hear november rain
that solo's awful long
but it's a good refrain
you listen to it twice
cause the dj is asleep

on the radio...

Regina Spektor
On the radio (Begin to Hope)

Begin to hope

Although I’d seen her before in Conan O’Brien’s show, I have no idea if she’s already that famous or not. I’ve discovered the music of Regina Spektor about a week ago. in fact, her music and her lyrics are so original and strange, and to some extent weird, that it takes time to get used to her.

She reminds me of Bjork but a more liberated, more childish version of her (it’s hard to imagine anyone more liberated than Bjork, ha?!). The music, with simple piano tunes and cold peculiar chords is more strange than delightful. The lyrics are movingly eccentric and to me, quite charming. Her style of singing is genuinely unique and deliciously free and her occasional breathing in the middle of the sentences, like little children, is incredibly cute.

I’m not suggesting that you’d like her, but her music and her style of singing is so different from everything you’ve ever heard that you have to give it a try, at least for the sake of the experience!

Start with her older albums, try Daniel Cowman, Bon idée or prisoners from the album Songs and Whisper and My Honor from the album Soviet Kitch. From her new album, begin to hope, which is less experimental hence more enjoyable, fidelity, Apres moi and On the radio are my picks.

Enjoy her...

A must-see documentary about the Middle East conflict. Don’t miss it. It’s a bit long but worth every second.

The always-angry guy, George Galloway, in an interview with sky network, speaks out about the war in Lebanon!
Although I don’t quite agree with his position, it’s nice to hear something different and amazingly brave from a politician. The neutral and politically-correct stand of almost all of them makes me vomit these days!

Ode to an ass!

This Saturday morning, as I was walking in downtown, I noticed the overcrowded Crescent Street as if there was an event going on. (Cause there’s always something cheesy going on there!). As I got closer, I found out there was a motorcycle show, accompanied by the two remaining of the stereotype stupid American male’s trinity, bikini blondes and beer!

To be honest, I really find elegant women who ride motorcycles to work, quite sexy and also I would buy a scooter for myself if I was living in a city with a more humane climate, but that’s the extent of my interest to the subject of motorcycle and I’m not ashamed of that, even as a mechanical engineer!

As I was passing by, I noticed a big stand, loud music and some kinky-dressed models that were not just cat walking but performing a mélange of Modern Ballet and Latin dance on the runway. The mixture of the soft and expressive dance with the tough, red neck-ish! style of Harley Davidson’s models and clothing, had made such an ironically amusing situation that it was hard to be overlooked, specially by a photographer, carrying his camera!

So I stopped and took some photos which didn’t come out quite well due to my camera’s annoying shutter lag!

During the shooting ritual, a tattoo, which seemed to be a phrase or a quote, on one of the models upper thigh, somewhere close to her generously-proportioned butt, caught my eyes! So I took a picture from that tattooed phrase and its voluptuous canvas and put it in my flickr!

To my big surprise and only in 2 hours, 400 people viewed this photo which is almost 15 times more than average viewers that I have for a non-butt-included picture in a week! but before I let this little experiment annoy me, I remembered the wise advice of the butt-writing that “Don’t worry about the things you can’t control”

People of the world, you need to get laid….big time!