For most of us non-believers, searching for happiness – and not serving the imaginary creator – is an essential part of the living experience. Where to find it, however, is a persistent question!
According to Steven Pinker – one of the world’s foremost psychologists – “we’re happier when we are healthy, well-fed, comfortable, safe, prosperous, knowledgeable, respected, non-celibate and in love!"
At first, professor Pinker’s list of ingredients; for a simple “Bonheur” for one person, seems ridiculously lengthy. But upon further reflection, I realized that most people around me have been privileged to belong to a minority of our planet’s inhabitants who are safe, comfortable and well-fed (perhaps a tad too much so, as judged by my love-handles!). Moreover, most of us are somewhat healthy - give or take a flu - and relatively prosperous. We’re reasonably respected and knowledgeable – and those who aren’t, don’t seem to care about it that much! And finally, I don’t believe that celibacy is an issue, specifically in fun-loving Toronto!
After crossing all the items - but one - off the list, it suddenly hit me that why a great deal of our happiness is defined by the degree in which we’re “In” or “Out” of “love”?
Then I - masochistically - borrowed the irritating style of Sarah Jessica Parker in Sex and the City and asked: “Should we fall in love to become happier?”
“But not so fast”, Chet Baker whispered to my ears, as I was arriving to a prompt and decisive conclusion:
“You don’t know what love is, until you’ve learned the meaning of the blues,
Until you’ve loved a love you had to lose, you don’t know what love is…
You don’t know how lips hurt, until you’ve kissed and had to pay the cost,
Until you’ve flipped your heart and lost, you don’t know what love is…”
Though I resisted the sadness of his voice, the melancholic tone of his trumpet got me fully convinced.
Now I’ve found myself, back to square one!
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