Friday, May 26, 2006
Museum of BAD art!
The world's only museum dedicated to the collection, preservation, exhibition and celebration of bad art in all its forms.
The plague of the pop culture!
Funny, hilarious Jon Stewart, remember him?
I remember how happy I got when he deservedly received the Emmy award for the second time in a row and became the host of the Academy awards. Well, maybe I shouldn’t have, if I’d known the popularity will reduce him from a bright intellectual with an exceptional sense of humor to a mediocre joker who does anything to keep the now-a- much-wider audience happy.
What happened to those deep, sarcastic, layered jokes and harsh critics and politically incorrect (sorry Bill!) comments?
For god’s sake! to become understandable for the main stream, I suppose, he’s even simplified the vocabulary he uses, compare to a year ago or so.
This Jon Stewart is way too different than the guy who kicked Tucker Carlson’s ass in that famous Crossfire’s episode. This Jon is shallow, ball less and much too politically correct, with the humor that is more suitable for Shaggy dog, than Daily show.
Now, with Woody Allen has quit being Woody Allen and preferred to become a second hand version of Hitchcock/Dostoyevsky, and with Bill Maher has taken his vacation till the end of August, does anybody know any comedian who has anything more to say than cheap sexual or gay jokes, making fun of blonds and nagging about women?!
I missed the old Jon Stewart!
I remember how happy I got when he deservedly received the Emmy award for the second time in a row and became the host of the Academy awards. Well, maybe I shouldn’t have, if I’d known the popularity will reduce him from a bright intellectual with an exceptional sense of humor to a mediocre joker who does anything to keep the now-a- much-wider audience happy.
What happened to those deep, sarcastic, layered jokes and harsh critics and politically incorrect (sorry Bill!) comments?
For god’s sake! to become understandable for the main stream, I suppose, he’s even simplified the vocabulary he uses, compare to a year ago or so.
This Jon Stewart is way too different than the guy who kicked Tucker Carlson’s ass in that famous Crossfire’s episode. This Jon is shallow, ball less and much too politically correct, with the humor that is more suitable for Shaggy dog, than Daily show.
Now, with Woody Allen has quit being Woody Allen and preferred to become a second hand version of Hitchcock/Dostoyevsky, and with Bill Maher has taken his vacation till the end of August, does anybody know any comedian who has anything more to say than cheap sexual or gay jokes, making fun of blonds and nagging about women?!
I missed the old Jon Stewart!
Just a reminder
Dear folks,
First, as you may have noticed so far, despite my dead-busy schedule, I’ve tried my best to update both my weblog and photoblog everyday (ironically, the one who convinced me to do so, updating hers, hardly once in a month!). to fulfill this dedication to myself, sometimes I have to go through some inhumane conditions such as writing during lunch time or late at night so in spite of my efforts not to have any typo, it’s quite natural that it happens and I’d cordially appreciate if you inform me in case you noticed any.
Second, I write about a variety of subjects from politics and history to art and science, but somehow I can’t figure out why the article about ass-washing got so much attention?!
I just wanted to mention that in a diverse society like the one in Canada, how some minor, insignificant details such as wiping or washing one’s ass, could be qualified as a cultural barrier but it turned out to be not quite trivial. Apparently for some, it’s more important than seal hunting and global warming! so, with a deep remorse, I’m afraid to conclude:
“To wash or not to wash, that’s the question!”
First, as you may have noticed so far, despite my dead-busy schedule, I’ve tried my best to update both my weblog and photoblog everyday (ironically, the one who convinced me to do so, updating hers, hardly once in a month!). to fulfill this dedication to myself, sometimes I have to go through some inhumane conditions such as writing during lunch time or late at night so in spite of my efforts not to have any typo, it’s quite natural that it happens and I’d cordially appreciate if you inform me in case you noticed any.
Second, I write about a variety of subjects from politics and history to art and science, but somehow I can’t figure out why the article about ass-washing got so much attention?!
I just wanted to mention that in a diverse society like the one in Canada, how some minor, insignificant details such as wiping or washing one’s ass, could be qualified as a cultural barrier but it turned out to be not quite trivial. Apparently for some, it’s more important than seal hunting and global warming! so, with a deep remorse, I’m afraid to conclude:
“To wash or not to wash, that’s the question!”
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Bill Maher’s New rules
If turning on my cell phone can bring down your commercial airliner, build a better plane! I mean…the number of people who carry hand held electronic devices these days equals the number of people who have hands…to give them all veto power over whether passengers live or die, seems like a flaw in the system.
Montreal kicks ass!
As I speak to my friends who live in Toronto (not all of them for sure, but a considerably good portion of them), they have this vision of Montréal as if it’s an exotic city in the middle of Africa, surrounded by volcanoes! Cause every time I ask them to come for a visit, they respond with enthusiasm “ yeah, I’ve been there once and I’m really looking forward to visit again at the end of the summer or next year…”
So I thought it would be useful if I explain some apparently obvious facts about our city, Montreal.
Dear friends,
Don’t let the notion of “French Canada” fools you, it’s still, although rather reluctantly, Canada! meaning that you shouldn’t apply for a visa or something, and you can still use your Canadian money here, as well!
Sure we’re more fun and less workaholic, our girls are way too gorgeous, sexy, tasteful and open minded, in a very good sense!, our city is more beautiful and our roads are too crappy! but if you ignore the fact that you have to call “Shopper’s Drugmart”, “Pharmaprix”, and remember that “PFK” and “KFC” are “La Même Chose”, or you should by your alcohol from “SAQ” and not “LCBO”, it’s almost the same thing.
So, remember, you shouldn’t reserve tickets or plan a year ahead, it’s only five hours of driving away and will cost you about 80$ but you can bet your life that it worths every penny.
Just so you know!
P.S. We don’t have hot dog vendors in the streets but instead you can buy alcohols from grocery stores. I think it’s a fair trade off!
So I thought it would be useful if I explain some apparently obvious facts about our city, Montreal.
Dear friends,
Don’t let the notion of “French Canada” fools you, it’s still, although rather reluctantly, Canada! meaning that you shouldn’t apply for a visa or something, and you can still use your Canadian money here, as well!
Sure we’re more fun and less workaholic, our girls are way too gorgeous, sexy, tasteful and open minded, in a very good sense!, our city is more beautiful and our roads are too crappy! but if you ignore the fact that you have to call “Shopper’s Drugmart”, “Pharmaprix”, and remember that “PFK” and “KFC” are “La Même Chose”, or you should by your alcohol from “SAQ” and not “LCBO”, it’s almost the same thing.
So, remember, you shouldn’t reserve tickets or plan a year ahead, it’s only five hours of driving away and will cost you about 80$ but you can bet your life that it worths every penny.
Just so you know!
P.S. We don’t have hot dog vendors in the streets but instead you can buy alcohols from grocery stores. I think it’s a fair trade off!
Over the Hedge
About a year ago, I think it was before Shrek 2, I saw a quite intriguing coming-soon-trailer about an animated cartoon called Suburbia. Characters, dialogues and techniques were promising an interesting movie. I didn’t hear about the movie since last night that I watched it with the new title of “Over the hedge”.
The movie is downright brilliant. Unlike “Ice age 2”, it has a well-written and thoughtful storyline (apparently from a comic strip). Characters are cute and adorable, animation is just right, not pretentious at all, and it completely serves the storyline, and most of all, the scenario is witty, I mean while it’s extremely funny, it has a dark, satirical tone to it, makes fun of the unleashed culture of consumption, shows our brutal intrusion into natural habitats and our inability to coexist as a part of the ecosystem. The fact that this Monday, when I was coming back from Toronto, was screaming itself to me by the numerous carcasses of raccoons and other animals, killed by the passing cars while they were trying desperately to get themselves to the other part of their split-by-the-highway’s habitat. And unlike my lecture, it all has been done in an artistically subtle way which was not annoying or boring whatsoever .
To me, the best character of the film was the fat lazy Persian cat who speaks with a hilarious Persian accent, done by Omid Djalili (the only international Iranian stand up comedian that I know) and it’s so funny that I was crying in the theatre!
I strongly recommend this movie and I guarantee that you will like it, adore it and will laugh your ass off! Enjoy
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
TO again!
I’m back again from TO and I don’t think that I go again anytime soon. Although it’s fun, I meet some new people every time and that’s additional to cool unexpected stuff that always happens in TO (at least for me), but too many drinks, too much smokes, too little sleep and 10 hours of driving is not something that I can take, every other week.
Now, interesting stuff from this trip:
1. A cool Woody Allen T-shirt that Naz made for me.
2. Maryam’s super healthy, somewhat bizarre but quite delicious cuisine.
3. Drinking and singing in a Karaoke bar.
4. Kaveh and Takin’s passionate discussion about some bird’s eggs! till 6 o’clock in the morning! fallowed by a more absurd experiment.
5. being introduced to some brilliant music at Golnaz’s place
6. Dizi and Ghalyoon in Patogh which was heavenly.
7. Having brunch at Rosedale with this lovely couple, Sam and Talayeh, followed by coffee at Doria, served by a cute Portuguese waitress with the sexiest voice ever!
8. Severe lack of sleep for about 10 to 15 hours.
So long TO, at least for couple of weeks.
Now, interesting stuff from this trip:
1. A cool Woody Allen T-shirt that Naz made for me.
2. Maryam’s super healthy, somewhat bizarre but quite delicious cuisine.
3. Drinking and singing in a Karaoke bar.
4. Kaveh and Takin’s passionate discussion about some bird’s eggs! till 6 o’clock in the morning! fallowed by a more absurd experiment.
5. being introduced to some brilliant music at Golnaz’s place
6. Dizi and Ghalyoon in Patogh which was heavenly.
7. Having brunch at Rosedale with this lovely couple, Sam and Talayeh, followed by coffee at Doria, served by a cute Portuguese waitress with the sexiest voice ever!
8. Severe lack of sleep for about 10 to 15 hours.
So long TO, at least for couple of weeks.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Proud ass-washer’s nation!
The first and the foremost concern of every Iranian girl that I’ve seen who was supposed to go out with a non-Iranian man for the first time, and far ahead of all those cultural differences and language barriers, simply was the fact that they don’t wash their asses!
I suppose the opposite concern holds at the other side of the table, since almost every non-Iranian girl who’s come to my apartment for the first time, wanted to know what the hell the sprinkler is doing in my bathroom!
Our argument is that their asses wouldn’t be clean enough without being washed thoroughly by water and theirs, well, they prefer to leave their asses crappy but their hands clean.
Anyway, the fact that they start to wash or we start to quit is one important indicator of who’s the boss in the relationship!
But how clean is clean enough? According to one of my friends, after you washed, you should be able to hear the squeaking sound when you rub your finger on it! What’s your criterion?
I suppose the opposite concern holds at the other side of the table, since almost every non-Iranian girl who’s come to my apartment for the first time, wanted to know what the hell the sprinkler is doing in my bathroom!
Our argument is that their asses wouldn’t be clean enough without being washed thoroughly by water and theirs, well, they prefer to leave their asses crappy but their hands clean.
Anyway, the fact that they start to wash or we start to quit is one important indicator of who’s the boss in the relationship!
But how clean is clean enough? According to one of my friends, after you washed, you should be able to hear the squeaking sound when you rub your finger on it! What’s your criterion?
Just a reminder
Dear people,
It’s 21st century. Era of blue tooth and wireless internet and almost every retarded living human being between the age of 6 and 86, knows what the hell the answering machine is!
If you don’t answer the phone, we surly can assume you are either not at home or not able to answer the phone (or you simply don’t want to) and you really don’t have to explain in detail what should we do after the beep in 4 different languages especially since the lady inside your machine is going to explain the same procedure again, right after you finished with yours.
Thank you
It’s 21st century. Era of blue tooth and wireless internet and almost every retarded living human being between the age of 6 and 86, knows what the hell the answering machine is!
If you don’t answer the phone, we surly can assume you are either not at home or not able to answer the phone (or you simply don’t want to) and you really don’t have to explain in detail what should we do after the beep in 4 different languages especially since the lady inside your machine is going to explain the same procedure again, right after you finished with yours.
Thank you
Revelations of the very last remaining brain cell, as promised
When a woman responds “Great” to an ordinary “How are doing” question for a couple of days in a row, there’s either a romantic affair or a sexual adventure involved. Girls can not feel great in a whole seven days of a week, if they’re not in love or getting laid!
For guys, it could be simply due their favorite soccer team being in a good shape, or two consecutive strait-flush in a row, in last night’s poker
For guys, it could be simply due their favorite soccer team being in a good shape, or two consecutive strait-flush in a row, in last night’s poker
Let’s be unpatriotic for a change!
I’m sick and tired of hearing about our troops in Afghanistan and their bravery and all those sacrifices they make on a daily bases!
Why the hell anyone anywhere wants to talk about anything in public involving our troops, should begin the sentence with raving about their selflessness?!
Dear folks, we’re not talking about “medecins sans frontiers”, we are talking about soldiers. They are soldiers and soldiers do not make sacrifice! In the best case scenario, they do their jobs! They are not men and women performing a compulsory military service, even if that was the case still couldn’t be qualified as sacrifice, they have been employed by the government to fight like any other employee doing any other job. Of course theirs is more dangerous than most of the jobs, but that’s simply their job description! They’re getting paid to work in dangerous situation. That’s why they carry a gun. That’s why they dress like bushes and trees and they don’t do it for the sake of humanity, they do that in exchange of money.
So please stop saying “They’re fighting for Canada”, cause the most perilous threats all around Canada are thunder storm and polar bears! and Global warming of course!
And enough with “They are helping people in Afghanistan”, cause soldiers do not decide where to go and what to do! That’s the definition of a good soldier. They’re helping people in Afghanistan, simply because they’ve been ordered to do so, exactly the same way they’re protecting a government of coup against a democratically elected president in Haiti!
If someone registered for army in the time of peace, either the person is naively dreaming about playing War-game!, for which to see a real battle field would be a suitable therapy, or he likes an adventurous and well-paid job or easily he hasn’t got any other options but to be a soldier and in either case, I can not admire him more than I admire any another person, performing any other service to society.
You know who I do admire? Those who leave their well-paid jobs to work for “Doctors or engineers without borders”, those who go to poor countries to fight against human trafficking, AIDS, Malaria, women being raped and children being abused. Those who tie themselves to trees, hinder the Whale hunting ships, trying their ass off to save the planet that does not only belong to us humans! That’s what I call sacrifice. Soldiers…not really!
Why the hell anyone anywhere wants to talk about anything in public involving our troops, should begin the sentence with raving about their selflessness?!
Dear folks, we’re not talking about “medecins sans frontiers”, we are talking about soldiers. They are soldiers and soldiers do not make sacrifice! In the best case scenario, they do their jobs! They are not men and women performing a compulsory military service, even if that was the case still couldn’t be qualified as sacrifice, they have been employed by the government to fight like any other employee doing any other job. Of course theirs is more dangerous than most of the jobs, but that’s simply their job description! They’re getting paid to work in dangerous situation. That’s why they carry a gun. That’s why they dress like bushes and trees and they don’t do it for the sake of humanity, they do that in exchange of money.
So please stop saying “They’re fighting for Canada”, cause the most perilous threats all around Canada are thunder storm and polar bears! and Global warming of course!
And enough with “They are helping people in Afghanistan”, cause soldiers do not decide where to go and what to do! That’s the definition of a good soldier. They’re helping people in Afghanistan, simply because they’ve been ordered to do so, exactly the same way they’re protecting a government of coup against a democratically elected president in Haiti!
If someone registered for army in the time of peace, either the person is naively dreaming about playing War-game!, for which to see a real battle field would be a suitable therapy, or he likes an adventurous and well-paid job or easily he hasn’t got any other options but to be a soldier and in either case, I can not admire him more than I admire any another person, performing any other service to society.
You know who I do admire? Those who leave their well-paid jobs to work for “Doctors or engineers without borders”, those who go to poor countries to fight against human trafficking, AIDS, Malaria, women being raped and children being abused. Those who tie themselves to trees, hinder the Whale hunting ships, trying their ass off to save the planet that does not only belong to us humans! That’s what I call sacrifice. Soldiers…not really!
Friday, May 19, 2006
Bathroom under new management
From next week, I’m going to make some weekly schedule for this blog. Every week, I will have a “movie of the week” and a “artist of the week” section in which I’ll write about new movies that I’ve seen, or my favorite artists.
“Revelations of the very last remaining brain cell” will be a small weekly article in which I’ll write down a conclusion about something, preferably funny and somehow stupid.
In another weekly section, I will write about interesting places in Montreal including Bars, cafés, restaurants, monuments, cools streets and lovely neighborhoods. Places that are not necessarily touristic but surly worth visiting
All of those will be in addition to regular bathroom stuff like daily links and articles.
And dear friends, whenever you come here and read something, leave some comments please. Short or long, thoughtful or stupid, kind or brutal, just do it! (sorry Nike!). It will help me keep going.
“Revelations of the very last remaining brain cell” will be a small weekly article in which I’ll write down a conclusion about something, preferably funny and somehow stupid.
In another weekly section, I will write about interesting places in Montreal including Bars, cafés, restaurants, monuments, cools streets and lovely neighborhoods. Places that are not necessarily touristic but surly worth visiting
All of those will be in addition to regular bathroom stuff like daily links and articles.
And dear friends, whenever you come here and read something, leave some comments please. Short or long, thoughtful or stupid, kind or brutal, just do it! (sorry Nike!). It will help me keep going.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Sorry Foroogh!
Dast-haaiat raa,
chon khaatere ii soozaan,
dar dast-haai e aashegh e man bogzaar...
Baad maa raa baa khod khaahad bord...
Baad maa raa baa khod khaahad bord...
(en shaa allaah!)
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Bill Maher's New Rules
If you’re playing a sport where most of the speed comes from gravity, you’re not an athlete, you’re a weight!
Get ready TO, I'm comming again!
It’s been three years, well exactly three years and a month, that I’ve been living in Montreal and I never forget the first day and the first glance. I cannot describe how discouraged I got when I saw the city for the first time. I mean, when you hear all those raving about how beautiful “Paris of the North America” is, discouragement is almost guaranteed! I don’t blame anybody. In fact, I should have guessed my self that a city which has been built by some fur merchants and has never had any form of aristocracy, let alone monarchy, can’t be as beautiful as Paris, Vienna or any other European city but one always tends to believe what he likes to believe. Even the first pictures that I took from Montreal were horrendous, reflecting my feeling toward the city. Some rusty air-conditioning fans, on top of an ugly ugly rooftop!
But like not-a-conventional-beautiful girl, who doesn’t catch your eyes at the first sight but the way she moves, talks and behaves will eventually makes you fall in love with her, I got soon hunted by the sexy and somewhat attractive character of this charming lady. An affair, which has been lasted till today.
This weekend, I’m going to Toronto again. She has also managed to change my view somehow drastically in the past visits and something’s telling me that she can do more.
But honestly, with this appearance, she got to have quite a personality :)
But like not-a-conventional-beautiful girl, who doesn’t catch your eyes at the first sight but the way she moves, talks and behaves will eventually makes you fall in love with her, I got soon hunted by the sexy and somewhat attractive character of this charming lady. An affair, which has been lasted till today.
This weekend, I’m going to Toronto again. She has also managed to change my view somehow drastically in the past visits and something’s telling me that she can do more.
But honestly, with this appearance, she got to have quite a personality :)
Stop testing on Animals...what does it really mean?
I like to call them insiders who sabotage every group from within by neutralizing all the efforts of sane and moderate activists, fighting for the same cause but in a much civilized manner. I’m talking about extremists. Those who give the people in charge, the luxury of diverting public’s opinions from the real problem by magnifying the act of bunch of anarchists, stereotyping anybody who talks about the same issue.
And this time, the case is the same old “fighting against testing drugs on animals”. A precious cause and some genuinely valuable efforts that have been tarnished by some who vandalizing properties, beating researchers and black mailing their families.
Just in England, they’ve gone so far that the government now has got enough support to publicly back up pro-testing movement to the point that Tony Blair himself signed a petition, supporting the continuation of the testing, something unheard of so far.
Well, that was exactly what we need. Some people marching in the streets, shouting “performing tests on animals are necessary for human’s sake” as if all those activists are some lunatics who want to save rats and guinea pigs at the cost of people’s lives!
So let’s make some points clear so you don’t think all those against testing are crazy, irrational or idealist. What they say (those with at least 80% of their brain cells still functioning!) simply are,
1. Test on animals should only be performed when it’s absolutely necessary to save lives. So it’s ok if you want to test anti-Cancer or anti-Aids drugs, but it’s not Ok when you torture and kill animals for heart burn medications or much worse, cosmetic products!
2. A huge amount of test being performed on poor animals is downright redundant. (they say 70%. I think it has been exaggerated but even 25% is already too much!). This is not hard to comprehend since anybody who has worked in an office has an idea about how much resources (paper for instance) is being wasted every day and there is no reason we assume the same pattern is not followed in labs! There’s only a small and minor difference and that is, those animals can feel the pain and they can’t be recycled!
3. Testing on animals is not a reliable way of insuring new drugs are safe since even those small genetic differences make some successfully tested drugs on rats, dogs and even monkeys, almost lethal when tested on human beings (they are hundreds of documented examples, all over the world). So it’s rational if one expect drug companies to invest on developing alternative ways and to support those methods that exist, not only to reduce the number of animals being subjected to tests, but also to secure the health of those volunteers in final stages of testing.
In other words, they are alternative ways, not for all procedures but for lots of them and also there are ways to maximize the efficiency of the methods, when performing a test on animals is essential.
The medical and pharmaceutical industry should realize that every life of every animal is precious and if it’s not absolutely necessary to take it, it’s absolutely unnecessary to do so. It may cost a bit more, but it worth it to the last penny! That’s all. Is it so much to ask?
Comment to my self: In fact, in the world that we can’t convince people not to buy fur coats, or SUV’s or at least not to vote for an anti-environmentalist stupid ass like Bush, maybe it is too much to ask. Sometimes I think if the slavery has not been abolished so far, there were certainly no way in this age that anybody could even propose that, considering its devastating effect on businesses and the economical growth and other craps! Think about it!
And this time, the case is the same old “fighting against testing drugs on animals”. A precious cause and some genuinely valuable efforts that have been tarnished by some who vandalizing properties, beating researchers and black mailing their families.
Just in England, they’ve gone so far that the government now has got enough support to publicly back up pro-testing movement to the point that Tony Blair himself signed a petition, supporting the continuation of the testing, something unheard of so far.
Well, that was exactly what we need. Some people marching in the streets, shouting “performing tests on animals are necessary for human’s sake” as if all those activists are some lunatics who want to save rats and guinea pigs at the cost of people’s lives!
So let’s make some points clear so you don’t think all those against testing are crazy, irrational or idealist. What they say (those with at least 80% of their brain cells still functioning!) simply are,
1. Test on animals should only be performed when it’s absolutely necessary to save lives. So it’s ok if you want to test anti-Cancer or anti-Aids drugs, but it’s not Ok when you torture and kill animals for heart burn medications or much worse, cosmetic products!
2. A huge amount of test being performed on poor animals is downright redundant. (they say 70%. I think it has been exaggerated but even 25% is already too much!). This is not hard to comprehend since anybody who has worked in an office has an idea about how much resources (paper for instance) is being wasted every day and there is no reason we assume the same pattern is not followed in labs! There’s only a small and minor difference and that is, those animals can feel the pain and they can’t be recycled!
3. Testing on animals is not a reliable way of insuring new drugs are safe since even those small genetic differences make some successfully tested drugs on rats, dogs and even monkeys, almost lethal when tested on human beings (they are hundreds of documented examples, all over the world). So it’s rational if one expect drug companies to invest on developing alternative ways and to support those methods that exist, not only to reduce the number of animals being subjected to tests, but also to secure the health of those volunteers in final stages of testing.
In other words, they are alternative ways, not for all procedures but for lots of them and also there are ways to maximize the efficiency of the methods, when performing a test on animals is essential.
The medical and pharmaceutical industry should realize that every life of every animal is precious and if it’s not absolutely necessary to take it, it’s absolutely unnecessary to do so. It may cost a bit more, but it worth it to the last penny! That’s all. Is it so much to ask?
Comment to my self: In fact, in the world that we can’t convince people not to buy fur coats, or SUV’s or at least not to vote for an anti-environmentalist stupid ass like Bush, maybe it is too much to ask. Sometimes I think if the slavery has not been abolished so far, there were certainly no way in this age that anybody could even propose that, considering its devastating effect on businesses and the economical growth and other craps! Think about it!
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