Some sexy yet witty T-shirts

He would have been so funny if he hadn’t had so much power over our life and our future!

Forget about David Copperfied…this is the coolest magician, ever!

No Comment!

Like an entrepreneur virgin!

An amazing news for Madonna Lovers

First of all, I’m not one of you! I never was a fan but I have to admit, I’ve always hugely admired the brilliant talent of this Pop-Goddess to stay on top for such a surprisingly lengthy period, in such an immensely competitive business.

And now, one of the well-known business schools of Europe, European school of management and technology in Berlin, is offering a course called “Madonna Case Study” in which her unique strategies to re-invent herself so frequently and so successfully, are being taught as effective tools for managers in similar competitive, rapidly-changing industries, such as cell phone or computer industry.

Now, why Madonna? The fact is, despite of her limited resources, considering that she’s not the best singer, dancer or even the most charming lady in this business, she has always managed to retain her position as the queen of pop, throughout the remarkably long period of more than two decades.

Her deep understanding of the nature of the business she’s working in, her courage and ingenuity to re-invent herself according to the markets needs and developments, her ability to change her business partners to form the right crew for the right target, and last but not least, her progressive attitude to shape the new trends instead of just following them, has made Madonna, not just a pop icon, but a business Guru from whom, managers and leaders can learn a lot.

So, next time you go to her concert, think of it as an entrepreneurial seminar and have less fun! :)

This is certainly stretching the boundary of being CUTE!

People please…

Leave Lebanese and Israelis alone! It doesn’t matter who won…they didn’t fight to win…they were just doing it for the good of the game! To burn some testosterone….a manly thing! Cave-manly, but still manly!

The fact that both sides consider themselves winner of this little war, makes it so cute…like it was a win-win situation from the beginning…

Sure some people died, some lost their everything, billions of dollars went down the drain, the environment got screwed and nobody really understood what was that all about, but at least I’m happy that everybody seems to get what they were looking for….everybody won…everybody’s happy…no hard feelings….

Just like a fun game in a kid’s birthday party…only this time, with an awful a lot of dead children involved!

Little Miss Sunshine

By far on of the smartest comedy I’ve seen in years, next to Sideways

A brilliantly sharp and ingenious satire in all its glory that will make you laugh and will make you cry but it sure won’t let you down, any time during the whole 101 minutes.

This seemingly usual road movie, is everything but usual. To be honest, I can’t think of anything that can be altered or improved, to make it even a notch better than what it is.

A magnificent plot, well-tailored characters, simple but stunning cinematography, brilliant acting, witty conversations and my favorite part, dark, sarcastic, biting yet still funny humor, which truly is a full-size caricature, mocking the American dreams and the stupidity that surrounds it.

And the most interesting advantage of this masterpiece is the perfect balance between all the elements, comic and emotional moments or physical and verbal comedy. It criticizes everything but gets nowhere near preaching or being a lecture in anytime whatsoever.

If you watch that movie and don’t like it, please don’t talk to me ever again!

It's not a poem!

If I knew,
I would live for a year…
And only a year

Would I spend so much time,
In front of the computer
Every day?

Would I pay mortgage,
Or save money?
For the house I’d never own
for the plans, I’d never catch?

Would I be afraid
Of jumping from a cliff?
Or from a plane?
With a parachute!
Or with nothing at all?

Or I would,
Pack my backpack
And walk around the world,
take my camera
And freeze every second,
Of the remaining of my life?

Would I care that the girl I like,
Is six years older than me?
Or the water pipe is
Bad for my health?

Or I would tell,
Every beautiful girl in the street
How voluptuous they are,
Under the August's sun,

How many places I haven’t seen,
How many wines I haven’t tasted,
How many lips I haven’t kissed

If I knew I’d
live for a year,
and only for a year,

I would ask myself,
How locust would taste like,
How sleeping in a desert,
Would feel like

I would be drunk,
High,
Every moment,
Every day

Now,

Who’s given me the guaranty
That I’ll have even a year...
That I’m living like
I’m going to live
For ever

I’m really tired…not just tried…Sick and tired and I will beat the crap out of the next person who gives me a terrible news!

For God’s sake, somebody pick up the damn phone and give me a good news….I don’t know what and I don’t care about the subject! Just something pleasant….seriously…anything will do….

P.S. Thanks Martina…at least you’re winning and it always makes me happy…

Trunk Monkey!

Very Funny Commercial

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four

Elephant Shoes

A modern look at love. 12 hours, 12 lifetimes... A half day relationship.

I rent the DVD as a Saturday afternoon entertainment, you know, a romantic comedy, not too cheesy not to heavy, to put you in the mood, but it was too damn good! Seriously, I’m impressed, big time!

If you haven’t seen this low budget, remarkably genuine, surprisingly surreal yet realistic, super creative movie, just take my word and do it. Believe me, you won’t regret. It’s just amazing!

How Golf was created, by Robin Williams

this is how it works
you're young until you're not
you love until you don't
you try until you can't
you laugh until you cry
you cry until you laugh
and everyone must breathe
until their dying breath

this is how it works
you peer inside yourself
you take the things you like
and try to love the things you took
and then you take that love you made
and stick it into some--
someone else's heart
pumping someone else's blood
and walking arm in arm
you hope it don't get harmed
but even if it does
you'll just do it all again

on the radio
you hear november rain
that solo's awful long
but it's a good refrain
you listen to it twice
cause the dj is asleep

on the radio...

Regina Spektor
On the radio (Begin to Hope)

Begin to hope

Although I’d seen her before in Conan O’Brien’s show, I have no idea if she’s already that famous or not. I’ve discovered the music of Regina Spektor about a week ago. in fact, her music and her lyrics are so original and strange, and to some extent weird, that it takes time to get used to her.

She reminds me of Bjork but a more liberated, more childish version of her (it’s hard to imagine anyone more liberated than Bjork, ha?!). The music, with simple piano tunes and cold peculiar chords is more strange than delightful. The lyrics are movingly eccentric and to me, quite charming. Her style of singing is genuinely unique and deliciously free and her occasional breathing in the middle of the sentences, like little children, is incredibly cute.

I’m not suggesting that you’d like her, but her music and her style of singing is so different from everything you’ve ever heard that you have to give it a try, at least for the sake of the experience!

Start with her older albums, try Daniel Cowman, Bon idée or prisoners from the album Songs and Whisper and My Honor from the album Soviet Kitch. From her new album, begin to hope, which is less experimental hence more enjoyable, fidelity, Apres moi and On the radio are my picks.

Enjoy her...

A must-see documentary about the Middle East conflict. Don’t miss it. It’s a bit long but worth every second.

The always-angry guy, George Galloway, in an interview with sky network, speaks out about the war in Lebanon!
Although I don’t quite agree with his position, it’s nice to hear something different and amazingly brave from a politician. The neutral and politically-correct stand of almost all of them makes me vomit these days!

Ode to an ass!

This Saturday morning, as I was walking in downtown, I noticed the overcrowded Crescent Street as if there was an event going on. (Cause there’s always something cheesy going on there!). As I got closer, I found out there was a motorcycle show, accompanied by the two remaining of the stereotype stupid American male’s trinity, bikini blondes and beer!

To be honest, I really find elegant women who ride motorcycles to work, quite sexy and also I would buy a scooter for myself if I was living in a city with a more humane climate, but that’s the extent of my interest to the subject of motorcycle and I’m not ashamed of that, even as a mechanical engineer!

As I was passing by, I noticed a big stand, loud music and some kinky-dressed models that were not just cat walking but performing a mélange of Modern Ballet and Latin dance on the runway. The mixture of the soft and expressive dance with the tough, red neck-ish! style of Harley Davidson’s models and clothing, had made such an ironically amusing situation that it was hard to be overlooked, specially by a photographer, carrying his camera!

So I stopped and took some photos which didn’t come out quite well due to my camera’s annoying shutter lag!

During the shooting ritual, a tattoo, which seemed to be a phrase or a quote, on one of the models upper thigh, somewhere close to her generously-proportioned butt, caught my eyes! So I took a picture from that tattooed phrase and its voluptuous canvas and put it in my flickr!

To my big surprise and only in 2 hours, 400 people viewed this photo which is almost 15 times more than average viewers that I have for a non-butt-included picture in a week! but before I let this little experiment annoy me, I remembered the wise advice of the butt-writing that “Don’t worry about the things you can’t control”

People of the world, you need to get laid….big time!

http://www.truemajorityaction.org/oreos/
Solving world’s problems for absolutely dummies.

Give peace a chance

Give peace a chance
Originally uploaded by Mar-yam.

It’s a poster Maryam has made, putting some kid’s pictures together.

For everyone else, it’s just a bunch of kids, but for me, since I know lots of those former kids, veterans of the childhood now, Maryam herself, Kiavesh, Rana and myself (two times!), it’s quite fun to look at.

Even if you don’t know anyone here, I suppose it’s still nice enough to be enjoyed.

My Saturday!

Yesterday, I was introduced to this lazy chubby furry creature. She was sooooo adorable. A bit timid, but beautiful and funny. A cat to die for!

The sad part was my stupid allergy that I’ve developed to cats in Canada! I've tried my best to deny it but I’m afraid I have to admit and live with it.

Only two more allergies, to women and to wine, and I would welcome death!

Anyway, we went to a movie afterwards. It was Night Shyamalan’s recent film, Lady in the Water, in which he also acts too, and I want to say to him "Way to go Mr. Shyamalan! It needs a tremendous amount of talent to make such a load of CRAP!"

It was by far, one of the worst movie that I’ve seen in years. Words cannot begin to describe how much it sucked.

The first 5 minutes was promising, but later on, it got worse and worse and it finished with an appalling, shameful finale, a suitable ending for this horrendous, dreadful bullshit! In fact, someone has to tell this young director that instead of saving the world by inspiring leaders through your writing, what his character is supposed to do in the movie, try to read and watch some good books movies instead!

Now that I’m thinking, even the Sixth Sense wasn’t that good. It was only good enough for someone’s first movie, but in any case, Lady in the water was a eulogy for the promising director of Sixth sense, Period!

Anyway, don’t waste your precious time on this movie. It’s horrible by any standard and it’s not even scary or entertaining. it can be placed in a dictionary, right in front of the word, Disastrous!

Monster House

Monster House, a new animation directed by Gil Kenan , is a profound, different, multi-layered, well-executed and quite entertaining animation which has been specially made for 3D screening.

A very well-written scenario about a monstrous house who eats everyone who's messing with it and three kids who are trying to stop the house from eating children of the neighborhood, right before the Halloween, where a lot of them are expected to go there for Trick or Treat!

Apart from the astonishing animation and the fact that watching anything in 3D is way more fun, the design of the characters in the movie is incredible. The vicious house and the way it transforms itself from an old, wooden residence to a hideous monster, is truly noticeable, particularly the harmonious cooperation of the house's trees and lawns, to fulfill the vicious plots. The old man who lives in there, is scary even for someone at my age, let alone children and the three kids, not only are adorable but pretty believable too. The two boy’s restless efforts to impress the girl and their subtle competition over her, is genuinely funny.

Even the less important characters are equally interesting and well-portrayed. The cool, sexy, slightly bitchy babysitter, Elizabeth, is very alive and quite entertaining to watch. The super nerdy, video game geek is just hilarious and the two police officers, particularly the young, inexperienced black one, are seriously amusing.

To me, it was by far the best animation of the year (or any year) and although I still haven’t seen Cars, I doubt that anything can top the breath taking 3D experience of the Monster House, anytime soon.

5. My favorite 101

My only problem with the Alternative Rock is the mood it creates for me. Surely it’s not how it works for everyone but in my case, it illustrates a cold and gloomy image of the modern world, full of machines, wires, metals and insecurities. Unlike the colorful, vibrant and always joyous ambience of jazz (even in its saddest songs) or amazingly calming nature-like mood of baroque or delightful, nostalgic homey feeling of middle eastern tunes, the alternative rocks usually portraits a dark, depressing environment that I adore to experience briefly but I certainly don’t want to stay in it for too long to be frank!

Expectedly, you’d seldom see me in a concert where this genre is being played but you’d find fairly decent amount of alternative rock in my ipod’s Top-rated playlist.

Today’s pick is one of those favorites, from a stunningly good album called love is here from the band Starsailor. This is one of the rare examples of this genre that I surprisingly don’t mind listening to it for hours and although all the songs in this album are quite remarkable, my big-time favorite is Tie up my hands.

Our old friend, TinTin

A friend and a classmate of my sister, Nicolas, who’s a serious fan of B.D, pointed out a very intricate issue with regard to my, and a good portion of my generation’s favorite B.D of all time, the adventures of TinTin.

That interesting point is the surprising absence of female characters and feminity in general, in the whole series of TinTin comics.

Since I haven’t brought any of my vast B.D collection with myself to Canada, I had no choice but to refer to my memory which in this case, due to my childhood’s excessive reading of every book of Tintin, is credible enough I suppose! So if my memory serves me right, I can’t think of any female character whatsoever but the fat, annoying, pain in the ass, Bianca Castafiore! The rest are all men, both good and evil. Tintin, Haddock, Tournesol, Doupont et Dupond, Nestor, Seraphin Lampion, General Alcazar, Rastapopoulos and the list goes on. Even the dog, Milou, is obviously a male dog.

And that’s not all. There is no romance, no fling, no recollection of any relationship in the past, neither for Tintin, nor for any of the major characters in the story.

I’m wondering, how Hergé have managed to eliminate the whole concept of feminity and everything around it like love, romance, sex, relationship or even a simple flirting, from such a diverse and popular B.D, without anybody even noticing it or feels the absence of it.. Well at least, none of my friends, most of which are die-hard fan of Tintin, had ever mentioned it before!

As I’ve already talked about , I don’t have my Tintin collection with me and I’m not going to Chapters for it, so if anybody remembers anything that contradicts this theory, please let me know.

Final word is, up to now, I was thinking that those college year’s poker nights were the only time that I had so much fun without the presence of any female character. Turns out that I should add to it, the whole experience of Tintin reading!


P.S. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a geek, I’m just interested in this issue as a social phenomenon. :)

Sunday afternoon, the guy is lying down on the grass, enjoying his B.D. In this world where we can order movies via pay-per-view, our books online and our pizza on the phone, it’s nice to go out to read, to sit in a café to write and to walk, outside this stupid metallic cages we call “our convenient cars”!

A Scanner Darkly

I do not recall the last time I’d seen so many geeks together in one place! Was it in the screening of the last Harry potter or the third episode of Lord of the rings?! Anyway, the theatre was more like an international Geek convention! It reminded me of Sharif University’s faculty of software engineering, except here, girls were slightly prettier!

The latest work of Richard Linklater, A Scanner Darkly, which is an animation based on Philip K. Dick’s novel with the same title, is the story of an undercover detective, played by Keanu Reeves, living in Orange County in the near future, fighting against the traffic of a brain-destructive drug called “substance D”. This hallucinogen, is an organic substance, derived from a blue flower, and unlike the novel, this fact is disclosed so early in the movie.

The rest of the story is the interaction between this undercover detective with himself and also with his girlfriend (Winona Ryder) and his two roommates, all of whom severely addicted to the Substance D.

A scanner Darkly is an irritatingly dark movie with a seriously gloomy and depressing atmosphere that perfectly suits the style of the animation being used. The story is surly, and to me deliberately, hard to follow and to be honest, boring at some points due to the excessive use of dialogues, but has its own hilarious moments and also moments to ponder about.

Robert Downey Jr. who plays a mentally damaged, always high, comically wise-guy addict, shows a spectacular performance. I don’t know whether playing in an animation qualifies someone for an academy award, but this magnificent performance certainly deserves to be considered.

And I don’t want to begin talking about my lovely adorable Winona Ryder. I enjoyed every second of her presence, even as an animation character. In fact, when she’s high, she’s even sexier!

Finally, the idea of the scrambled suit, a dress worn by detectives that covers their identity was a marvelous idea in the novel which has been executed stunningly brilliant in the movie!

It should be noted that A Scanner Darkly is the first movie that has been worked entirely by the technique called Rotoscope, in which a motion picture, made by real actors, is sketched on later and turned into animation. The technique has been used quite frequently before, even by the same director in the movie “Walking life”, but never so comprehensively to generate an entire motion picture.

Altogether, an unforgettable experience, a masterpiece which will give an ultimate pleasure to anyone with a bit sense of fantasy, interested in comics or animation, or anyone tasteful enough to appricaite so much talent that has been used in making this breathtaking piece of work.

And a word about this director. What amazes me is how someone could be able to make some of the sweetest, most romantic movies of all time (before sunrise and sunset) , the way one feels he’s been deeply in love his entire life and yet have the ability to enter such gloomy, geeky, dark science fictional realms ( Scanner Darkly and Walking life) like he has been a nerd, or more, a nerd with severe addiction to narcotics all along the way! Add to this, some fantastic comedy like School of Rock and Voila, you have a genuine genius indeed.

I can’t wait to see his latest, “fast food nation”, which is a loosly based on Eric Schlosser's great work.

If you think money can’t buy happiness, you don’t know how to spend!

From a gorgeous brunette’s T-shirt, in the bus

Life is short, Play more

A commercial for Lingerie

This one is a piece of art. Magnificent!

Another one!

Blow job

Scoop

Tonight was the premier of Woody Allen’s latest work, Scoop and what a delightful experience.!I’ve had missed Woody on the screen, his nervous tedious nagging and his stupid monotonous remarks. I’ve had missed a genuine Woody Allen movie with all those glorious sophistications for so long, and tonight, like someone who’s seen his beloved after a while, I could have danced all night!

It was brilliant two hours that erased the fatigue of a week of hard work. I wish he could make a movie, every week. Wouldn’t life be great then?!

I don’t mind if he wants to work in London instead of Manhattan or get involved with British aristocracy instead of New York’s upper class. I don’t care if he’s got so intrigued by rich people getting involved in murders and I certainly understand if he’s in love with Scarlet Johansson and her chubby but extremely sexy body, but containing all these elements, he still can make a Woody Allen movie and not that Match point crap! I was screaming this all these months and tonight, he proved that I was right all along!

Final word, there is something about New Yorkers, which seems interesting to me. No matter how proud they are of Manhattan, no matter how much they adore this island, no matter how confidently they believe (and I absolutely agree with them) that they are living in the center of the world, deep inside, there’s always something they profoundly envy and it is British aristocracy with all its sophistications. From their posh accent to their elegantly decorated mansions, from their mysterious private clubs to all those meticulously kept traditions, they want to be a British aristocrat, even for a day, or in a movie.
Well, honestly, who could blame them?!

When the grass is not green enough!

The angel is standing on top of a building in Berlin, watching people on earth. Everything is in black and white. That‘s how “The wings of desire” commences. Later on, he falls in love. He blinks, and as he opens his eyes, the world is colorful.

I lived a good portion of my life in a beautiful dream, dominated by this visual poetic perception, Wenders has created.

Now, after years and years, I still refuse to believe that the notion is too unrealistic, too dreamy or even too poetic to be true, but what life forced me to believe is, the colors won’t last very long. It’s not too poetic but it certainly is much too momentarily. In a quite unpleasantly non-poetic example, I may say it’s like an old color TV. Sometimes it does what it should do, but all of a sudden, right in the middle of an important football match, it loses the colors and turns into a stupid black and white TV. You can smash it on the head occasionally and you might even get some colors back for couple of minutes, but you’ll lose them again soon, guaranteed!

There’s a technique, used to bring old black and white movies to color, and it simply is to colorize every frame, one by one! Maybe it works in big Hollywood studios, but in real life, manually colorizing every frame is not an option. It’s much too time consuming and the final result always looks disgustingly fake!

A good alternative would be to enjoy life in black and white. The reality is, most of the masterpieces in photography, and to some extend in cinema, are in black and white, where there is no color to distract your eyes from the beauty of the shades, shapes and the compositions. In fact, sometimes you have to manually get rid of the colors and that’s when the colors are weak, unappealing and simply don’t worth to be kept.

You select your poorly-colored picture and then select, Image-mode-Grayscale from the menu! Photoshop will ask “you’re going to lose the color information, are you sure you want to continue?” you pause. You think. You look again. You see that pale blue sky and those unflattering colors, covering your potentially nice image. You remember how unsuccessfully you tried your best to edit the colors. You exhale and click “YES”!

You blink and as you open your eyes…Voila…it’s Black and white.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOPHjNL9BCk&search=mylove%20blair%20bush

I watched this almost 2 years ago for the first time. But due to this new scandal in the recent G8 summit, it’s still hilarious to watch!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlYkwgIcd_0&search=nomad

This is amazing...don't miss it

Understanding Engineers

(A funny article I recieved today)

Take One:
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Take Two:
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.

Take Three:
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who
else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

It takes more than a Leica to become Bresson

Every time I see Sam, I realized how lazy photographer I am. We were doing the same thing, taking pictures, in Paris. He had a huge, at least 10kg backpack on his shoulders, filled with accessories, lenses and stuff, including my favorite, a magnificent super wide lens, and I, on the other hand, was walking around with a 220g camera, no accessories, nothing! To make the matter worse, I had even forgotten to bring my 200g tripod with myself to Paris! And as if it’s not shameful enough, that was the only thing I forgot to bring with myself!!! And then, he was running around, taking pictures, walking around the monuments to find the good spot, changing lenses one after another, and I was gossiping with Talayeh and taking some shots once in a while, as I was talking (my favorite activity!) between several proposal to sit down somewhere and have a coffee or a drink! You know, carrying around a 220g camera is not easy at all!



As a huge fan of Henri-Cartier Bresson, I was always so tempted by the idea of walking around everywhere with a tiny Leica and freeze the moment, that when Leica introduced a new fully manual D-lux 2, I didn’t think for a second to order it. Well, back then, I had no idea that you can do the same, with your bulky SLR and all those sets of lenses, but to be honest, I’m not that devoted anyway.

I mean, apart from a long list of problems and short comings, including inferior picture quality, not being able to use different lenses or filters, specially the one that I miss the most, Polarizer, and awful a lot of others, it gives you a huge advantage: it is not as intrusive as a SLR with a bulky, photo journalistic lens! and if you want to be a people’s photographer, it worth all the pain indeed.

There are a million ways to declare your love to your beloved, but I don’t know why most of them involve a sort of vandalism and destroying public properties! and almost all of them are somehow lame!



This one in particular, I don’t care how lame it is, has been executed quite tastefully. It caught my eyes, somewhere near the Seine.

What a useless habit…

Thinking I’m talking about. Wired but true! I mean, seriously, unless you’re trying to find a solution for the world’s hunger or global warming, do we need to spend hours and hours thinking? In the real life, do we really need to think that much?!

Personally, I never had any problem in life, required more than 10 minutes of systematic thinking. The rest, were always, trying to find an alternative that didn’t exist, were the excruciating pain of representing the problem in a way that the desirable solution could fit in, were to justify the errors, created by using those favorite answers!

Think about your thinking procedures! and try to be honest with yourself, aren’t you doing the same, almost all the time?! Take a look at this guy! Most of the time we’re just like him, well! not as handsome and muscular but anyway! Are we really waiting for this guy to find any solution for any problem whatsoever, no matter how deep he thinks?!



We think when need to think, which is fine, but when we found the solution, we think just a bit more to buy time before applying the undesirable solution, and then, we think more to avoid doing what we know we should, but we don’t want to. And we think again, waiting for a new alternative, suddenly comes from the above and reveals itself to us. Even sometimes, while we’re resisting doing the right thing, we think again, cause we don’t have anything better to do!

Here comes the worst, when we think we’re thinking, but what we’re really doing is subconsciously complicating the problem in way that the simple, obvious but disliked answer can’t fit in anymore! Then we can sit down, thoughtfully ask our friends “you see! I’m telling you, my problem is so complicated, what the hell should I do?!”

The harsh reality is that the gangrenous leg should be cut! Brutal but inevitable! The more you think about it, the more limbs you’re going to lose.

Sometimes, as soon as the thinking procedure yields a reliable and convincing result, no matter how harsh it is, we should stop thinking, go out, lie down on the green grass and just look at the deep deep blue sky. Just looking!

Please accept the apology!

Israel’s ambassador to UN: “We’re doing the people of Lebanon a favor. Most of them don’t like Hezb-Ollah and appreciate what we’re doing!”

I heard it, 2 minutes ago from BBC with my own ears!

Well, Mr ambassador, Lebanese are busy, burying their dead children, otherwise, they would thank you in person. Please accept the apology!

Alley of lost time!

When I was reading Marcel Proust's "a la recherche du temps perdu", I never thought I would find it in this cute little village in Rubelle, near Paris. I have to admit that my condition was as mysterious and strange as the name of this alley. I had 37 glass of champagne the night before (till 6 am), but I was as good as can be and I was doing photography at 9:00 am, the same day. No headache, no hangover!

Tonight I went to see the new Linklater movie, A scanner darkly, which was a masterpiece. The guy is a genius. Whatever he does is a masterpiece. I’ll write about it later. But before the movie began, there was a trailer for this new horror movie, Pulse, that seriously scared the shit out of me! I mean, the trailer was screaming that the movie is bullshit but GOD it was scary!
Now I came back home, and there’s this dramatic weather and thunderstorms, and I’m so happy that I didn’t watch Pulse instead! I’m so gonna watch it but definitively, I’m gonna check the weather forecast beforehand and certainly, I’m not gonna watch it alone! Anybody in?!

To the land of burnt Cedars...

I was visiting Jardin des Plantes in Paris. I sat down under this massive, beautiful tree to rest for a minute. I raised my head to read the label. As much as I adore nature, I’m clueless about the name of the trees and the flowers! On a small bronze label, it was written: “Le Cedre du Liban!”

I thought to myself, how I wish visiting Beirut sometimes in the future!

Since I had deliberately disconnected myself from the world, I had absolutely no idea that at the same time that I was enjoying the peaceful shadow of this gracious Lebanese cedar, the land of the Cedars is falling into pieces. Karl Marx once said: “History always repeats itself twice, first time as tragedy, second time as farce!”. At least in the case of Beirut, the only thing to laugh about is the world’s reaction toward this tragedy!

Oh…the Glorious Jarret!

About six years ago, I went to this cute little restaurant in Place des Vosges, and I had a dish called Jarret de porc, which simply was a peasant dish, braised porc leg shank with beans. It sounds crazy but to repeat that unforgettable experience was one of the things I was fancying the whole time I was planning revisiting Paris. First time I went there, it was with Marjan. But since we were kind of full for such a heavy dish and also she was willing to try more of the French cheese, we sat in another café on the other side of the square and had wine and cheese instead. Did I mention that I spilled red wine on her white skirts?! Thanks god it was not a first date! Anyway…




Couple of days later and after hours of walking in Paris, I went back to that square, as hungry as possible. I went to that restaurant and asked “six years ago, I had a magnificent Jarret de porc here. Do you still have that on your menu?”

With a half a bottle of Chateauneuf du Pape , one of my favorite French wines, and in this magnificent old square, I can put the experience somewhere between watching Annie hall for the first time and a very good sex! I think the rating was clear enough !

Semi-Canadians!

As I was listening to the news about the war in Lebanon, I was stunned by the amount of the Canadian casualties which was somewhere between ten to twenty percent of the whole figure. For seconds, I was wondering why there are so many Canadians in Lebanon, but as they announced the names, everything became clear.

Apparently, during the Lebanon’s long and bloody civil war, a good percentage of rather rich, educated and dominantly French speaking population of Beirut had been immigrated to Canada and mostly to Quebec. During the period of peace and prosperity in Beirut, most of those immigrants, now with Canadian passports, had returned to Beirut and have been working and living there ever since.

Now, the problem is, the awfully large amount of people with dual nationality who haven’t been integrated properly into the Canadian society for whatever reasons, those who’ve come back to their original countries long ago, working and living there and they’re just carrying the Canadian passport as a backup, puts the government of Canada in a very awkward and uneasy situation.
From one side, the government should react in a proper way to the fact that a lot of Canadians have been killed by Israel’s attacks, but from the other side, it’s improper by nature to react to the death of those who apart from their Canadian Passports, are internationally regarded as Lebanese and not Canadian!

The mild and somehow neutral reaction of Canada shows that regardless of what they say, they seem to believe in the existence of a so-called Second class semi-Canadians! The subject that if not addressed and debated properly, can cause considerable problems in the future for the credibility of the Canadian citizenship!

Is Paris Photogenic?

In Persian and Arabic literature, there is a term called “Shahl o Momtane” which simply means something that seems so easy to do but in fact, it’s not.

The first time I visited Paris, which was six years ago, I literally didn’t have the slightest idea how to put a film inside a camera, let alone taking pictures. So All I got from there was a huge visual library inside my brain of all those beautiful monuments and streets. I think there is no need to explain how I was dying to get to Paris and indulge myself and my cute little Leica. In fact, taking good pictures of Paris is somehow like taking beautiful shots from Natalie Portman. How hard could it be?! Well, it turned out to be hard enough! I may say, significantly harder than taking photos of aesthetically-challenged Toronto! ( I still believe it’s a cool city but you have to admit it’s not beautiful per say!). but why it’s so hard?

First of all, the charm of Paris is so overwhelming that like a hearty roasted pork in Munich’s October fest, it’s as hard to digest as it’s delicious. There is a good chance that for the first couple of days, you find yourself, just wandering around, wondering where you should point the camera to. Even after that, the tougher decision would be how to frame the picture. Everything is so delightfully pretty and so strongly connected that it looks like a crime to exclude any bit of it from the rest.

Even when you find your frame, there’s a huge technical problem and it’s distortion. Most of the dreamy streets in Paris are so narrow that they hardly allow you to step back far enough to be able to avoid distortions, caused by shooting with a wide angle lens from the bottom of a tall building from very close distance and unless you’re using a quite pricy shift lens, you should find a way to incorporate that so called problem into your style some how.

Another problem is, as a tourist, you don’t have the luxury to be always at the right place at the right moment like a photographer who actually lives in Paris. Not only you’re going to visit Pairs in a short period of the year, and mostly in the summer, your time also is going to be limited and whether you like it or not, you’ll find yourself in front of a magnificent scene, where the sun is in the middle of the sky and you’re going to have some strong, unflattering shadows combined with some unpleasant colors and if you really want to depict the details in the buildings and your camera can not be equipped with a polarizing filter, well, you should start singing “good bye blue sky” in front of that wall!

And in the summer, they are tourists everywhere and no matter how hard you try, it’s almost impossible not to have them in the frame, and unlike super cute super elegant Parisian girls, most of the tourists are not so pleasing to the eyes to be included in the compositions.

And the last but not the least, every corner of this city has been excavated by many photographers including giants like Bresson and Doisneau and it’s almost a mission impossible to make anything unique or original.

Ok…I think I’ve made enough excuses to justify why my pictures aren’t so great…

Oh God…when I was leaving for holidays, two weeks ago, Israel was still fighting with Palestinians in Gaza. All of a sudden, there’re bombarding Beirut?! I got a Figaro at the Airport and for seconds, I had the impression of time traveling or something! I actually did check the date on the paper…it was not 1982, it was July 16th 2006.
I can’t leave you unsupervised for two weeks?

A very North American comment

Four things you’ll miss in Paris
Customer service, English keyboard, Smoke free environment, and most of all...Air conditioning,

That was disgusting…

In the history of the world cup, only two times the final has got to the penalties and Italy was part of both of them. Do you any wonder?

A team who defended in front of a 10 Men’s France, a team who didn’t have even one opportunity in the second half, doesn’t deserve to win.

A false penalty in 92nd minute, a goal in 118 minute and a win in penalty thanks to the bar… good luck Italy…seriously…good luck.

I’m beginning to believe in the Catholic God…apparently it works…

The loneliest man in the world

Germany lost…at least Italy deserved to win and it lessens the pain….

I was in Brussels, with Ali, Leili and Marjan…Ali and Leili both die hard Italian fans and Marjan, not a real fan but enough anti-German to cheer for Italy, we were in an Italian bar with at least 100 Italians and I'd never felt lonelier in my entire life!

I have to say though, just watching those Italians, swearing and waving their hands was a huge stress reliever to be honest and watching Ali who was accompanying them with the hand gesture and some seemingly Italian phrases that in fact were nothing but noises, so typical of him of course, were quite entertaining!

And after the game, I had no idea that you could find so many Italians in Brussels. They were everywhere, blocking almost every streets in downtown Brussels, dancing and cheering till morning. I felt like I was in Rome and what a bad time for a German fan to be there!

I’m happy that I had so much fun before and after the game that I could handle it rather easily. Although it’s the world game but it’s still just a game and it simply can not ruin my so far wonderful trip!

For now and since I’m in Paris, vive la France and Allez les Bleus!!!

Paris

I’m leaving tomorrow for Paris to attend Arash and Mana’s wedding. Couple of days in Paris, a day trip to Brussels, a daytrip to Munich if Germany reaches to the final, and a possible trip to Barcelona if I could find a good company. That’s been my plan so far.

Anybody has any idea?! Suggestion?

Orkut’s 9 commandments!

1. You’re Profile photo should be at least from a period of your life in which you could pee on your own!
I know you’ve missed the attention you’ve been receiving when you were three, but believe me, no one fantasize a 35 years old man, in dipper!

2. You’re not here only for Activity partners and business networking if you’re profile photo is more like a Victoria Secret’s add!
Either change your photo or admit that you like attentions from people you don’t have any business with but you don’t mind to be their partner in some activities!

3. Girls, just because our country situated in the continent of Asia, you’re not qualified to call yourself Asian!
For that matter, certain other rules apply.


4. If in your profile photo, you’re in a pink bikini in Cancun, holding a Pina Colada, you can not chose Islam as your religion!
Sorry folks! Islam has some regulations that you’ve already broken a dozen of them in one picture so… get over it!

5. That gorgeous elegant lady with those dreamy eyes is not you, she’s a deceased actress called Audrey Hepburn!
I don’t know how much you hate your actual appearance, but seriously, putting up that beautiful picture there, doesn’t change anything!

6. Dragging your boyfriend into your profile picture is not cute!
There are multitudes of places where you can prove your love to your partner and Orkut’s profile photo is definitively not one of those. Changing your relationship status to committed is the decent, less pretentious way of declaring the same thing!

7. You can call yourself a Very Left liberal, if you can distinguish the difference between your left and right hands!
To be politically Very left is not a symbol of being cool, it’s choosing a life style in which your father should start paying taxes and you can’t go skiing on Monday mornings!

8. Funny and quick-witted are the compliments, OTHER PEOPLE should give to you!
If you are so obsessed to be called those, ask one of your stooges to write a testimonial for you!

9. That dark spot in the horizon could be anything from a palm tree to a lost camel. All cameras these days have a button with which you can zoom in! Next time you want to take a picture for your profile, use it!

Sorry! Since I had to go to the bathroom, I couldn’t wait for God to send the last one. You figure it out yourself.

Deutschland über Alles - Part Five

It won’t be easy, you’ll think it strange
When I try to explain how you sucked
That you try to defend after only one goal
You won’t believe me
All you will see, is a team that has lost
And should go back home, with the tears
and you must get used to it too!

Don’t cry so loud Argentina!
The truth is you surly deserved it
When you are better, and you play defensive
You’ll pay the forfeit
And it’ll be expensive!

Have I said too much? There’s nothing more I can think of to say to you
But all you have to do is look at the tape of match! to know that every word is true……..

(Music)

Waiting for a miracle!

In the official website of FIFA, there is a place where you can predict “Who will win the golden shoe”. Guess who’s on top of that list? Shevchenko? Ronaldinho? Klose? Crespo? Well, you’re wrong. On top of that list, there is no one but the former Asian player of the year, Mr. Ali Karimi. That's right!

Since it’s impossible to even imagine that the idea can come from anybody’s mind but that of a megalomaniac Iranian with stupidly naïve excessive optimism, we can confidently conclude that there are at least thousands of Iranians who actually were thinking, or worse, hoping that Ali Karimi would beat Zidane, Ronaldo, Figo and dozens of other great players and would win the world’s Golden shoe!



And it’s not only about football, it’s in our blood. Couple of silver and bronze medals in some scientific Olympiads for high school students; convince us that we’re the most intelligent people on the face of the earth. For no obvious reason, and where the word shameful is not good enough to describe the way we treated Persian-speaking hardworking afghan refugees in our country, we consider ourselves the most hospitable nation in the world. We also think about ourselves as the most cultured, civilized, talented and the list goes on.

Isn’t it the time to forget about Cyrus the great and the glorious Persian Empire for once, and really assess who we are and where we’re standing right now, what’s our real potentials and what we can realistically achieve in a short or long term period?

The inconvenient truth (sorry Mr. Gore!) is, miracles almost never happen and in the best-case scenario, people will achieve what they’ve planed for and they’ve worked for. I suppose we still think too poetic to face this fact!

I don’t know why but I’m feeling a bit religious today!

and the look on their faces…priceless!

Official Announcement

Being civilized…remember that?!

Great…I stayed at home to watch the match, that was expected to be beautiful, but God, what a shame. It was one of the most disgusting, unfair and repelling matches ever. I can’t even say that I’m sorry for Netherlands cause they were horrendous too. The winner of this stupid game is truly England who will play with “Port” which is Portugal without Deco, Ronaldo and Costinha. I think British were the only people who really enjoyed that game.

Anyway, that shameful win was good enough for Montréal’s Portuguese community to come to the streets, dance, drink, and celebrate. As we were going to TamTam, we participate in their celebration, while we were swearing them in Persian “ Khaak too saretoon baa in team etoon!”. Surly with a smile so they think we are appreciating their catastrophic win!

After all, lying down beneath the mild, beautiful sun and a delicious diner at my favorite place, cafe santropol, made the post-game hours, a pleasing Sunday afternoon.

I also bought a cool Tibetan shirt that I’m not sure whether I’ll wear it or not, cause it’s so not my style. Anyway, I might give it a try.

The World's Game!

Frankfurt, Germany

Great Moments in Presidential Speeches

Apart from the fact that he’s screwing our planet, I love that buffoon! He’s so funny. I’d really like to be his friend, being invited to his ranch in Texas. I think I’d have the laugh of my life….

Deutschland über alles! Part four

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…
That was a nice match…Germany was soooooo good. I didn’t appreciate the red card though. It rather killed the game. The referee could have easily overlooked that foul and let the match continue. It gets on my nerve when the referee ruins a brilliant match, just to be meticulously punctual, just like what happened in the 1998’s match between England and Argentina!

To be a German fan, you have to be as punctual as them. We, my German friend and I, were there, at café Berlin, 10:00 o’clock sharp but it was jam-packed. To be honest, I’d never seen so many white people together anywhere in North America :)

So we went to St-Laurent and we found another great place, where we could watch the match outside, under the sunshine. Beer and Cheer and a good victory.

By the way, to those who’re still so biased that even what they’re seeing can’t change their minds, Klinsmann, even when they were two goals ahead, substituted a forward for another one. I really like to see the same move from those so called “Offensive” teams! So till then, shut up please!

We are going to kick some Argentinean ass next time…

P.S. Why the hell, Oliver Kahn was more depressed than Sweden’s coach?! Cheer up man!

Sleepy cat!

I’m dying to play with a kitty! Anybody knows anyone who has one!

Episode One,
He’s not drunk. He’s just OK, twirling his glass. He loves the color of this scotch, the smoky fragrance and the ice cubes, dancing around inside this fine Glenlivet.
He closes his eyes and imagines himself being those ice cubes. She gets smoother, tastier and somehow better, like this single malt, as he’s melting away inside of her.
He takes a sip, closes his eyes one more time and enjoys, as the scotch warms his throat down to his stomach. It tastes great, so does life!

Episode Two,
He’s still there and he’s still twirling his glass. The sound of the ice cubes inside an empty old fashion glass sooths him. He closes his eyes…again.
Now, she’s just like these shrunk ice cubes. They’re both melting away to something that doesn’t make him feel any better anymore.
“Do you want another glass of that Sir?”
“No thanks…just a double espresso… and the bill…please”
He continues twirling. It makes the ice cubes melt faster but he, just likes the sound.

Episode Three,
Another day, another bar, the same man. Well, almost the same.
“What can I serve you Sir”
He thinks…he clears his throat and says:
“Talisker…straight”

The Lake House

I really enjoy reducing the traditional, mysterious and almost divine concept of love, to a pure bio-physical effect of some hormones (such as endorphin, serotonin, norephinephrin and later on, oxytocin) and genetic congruency but even if that’s the case, we’re missing a very important physical phenomenon here, called timing and the movie, The lake house, looks at this matter, within a remarkable, ingenious and amazingly strange love story.

Alex and Kate, a frustrated architect and a lonely doctor, write to each other everyday in a bizarre and seemingly long distance relationship where in fact two years time difference is what creates the distance. In this odd situation, an old mailbox, a dog and a breathtakingly beautiful lake house are the elements that connect them together and all these happen in Chicago, in front of a carefully picked backdrop of the most prominent buildings of this architecturally rich city. That’s all I can say about the story without revealing it more than what the trailer does.

The plot is well structured, cute and full of surprises and while it’s totally fictional, it strictly develops within its logical frame which makes it, although a bit hard to follow but quite believable. The screenwriter, David Auburn proves that with a little bit of imagination and talent, it’s possible to make something brilliantly unique out of a well worn-out genre.

As negatives, I didn’t appreciate the ending that much and the movie tends to get boring as it moves toward it. The dialogues about architecture, specially after all those impressive images, seem redundant and even pretentious. Performances are not impressive either but since neither Keanu Reeves nor Sandra Bullock are exceptional actors, I didn’t expect more. However, I enjoyed the performances of the supporting actors, Christopher Plummer and Shohreh Aghdashloo who is quite charming in this movie.

The lake house itself, which has been specifically designed and constructed for this movie, is to die for. During the film, I couldn’t stop fancying about living in this house for at least a full year. It’s artistically harmonious with the surrounding environment and voluptuously transparent and exposed.

Final word, I’m still a bit reluctant to call this movie a masterpiece or put it in my favorite list, but it’s a movie, definitively worth watching and absolutely satisfying by all means.

Bordelle Français!

You remember how every Bureaucratic procedure in Iran sucked? Today, I kind of understand why. The modern administrations have been imported to Iran from France and God, what a mistake it was. Like buying red wine from Norway!

Today, Sanam and I, went to Consulat Generale de France a Montreal to pick up our Visas. We were there at 7:00 AM sharp, and we were thinking about maximum an hour and half, two hours waiting. right? WRONG! It was, as French say, “un Bordelle!”. It’s even worse since if a Bordelle wants to work such disorganized, it will be bankrupt in matter of weeks!

It took us 2 hours in line, a breakfast, 2 hours of chatting and having coffee in 3 different places, some shopping, watching a bit football and half an hour walking in McGill College street, looking at beautiful models, who were practicing for the opening night of the Fashion and Design festival starting tonight for 5 days.

Exactly! 6 hours to get our visas stamped in our passports! Their printer had problem and the general consulate of France in Montreal, the second largest French-speaking city in the world, doesn’t have a backup printer!

Anyway, the cons: I missed 4 hours of training for the new software, our company has bought recently and I’m also dying from lack of sleep!

But pros: I really enjoyed this magnificent sunshine and delightful weather, with the company of the sweetest girl I know, according to everybody, myself included!

It’s good to skip work sometimes to somehow remember how days look like! Plus…I got my visa , and my ticket and now I’m looking forward to Arash and Mana’s wedding. I can’t wait to see all my dear friends from l’Auberge Montrealais, once again.…so Paris, here I come!

Antiboredom campaign

Revelation of the very last remaining brain cell

If God and Saints get credit for victories, they should be equally blamed for defeats!

I mean, why the hell, every time we win a football match, they rave about how the triumph was specifically related to the assistance from “God” , “Faateme Zahra!” or “A’emme ie Athaar!” but when we lose, they just dismiss the coach and destroy Ali Daei’s properties?!

I don’t mind if you want to praise your Lord for every trivial achievement but at least, after a humiliating defeat, have the guts to show your dissatisfaction to him by doing something outrageous like… not praying for couple of days… or having pork chops with Vodka… or simply use your brain for a while!

P.S. Having sex with your domestic animals doesn’t count! It’s almost allowed!

Deutschland über alles

Yoohoooo….9 points

I’m not going to check the world cup history, but I’m sure in the past two decades that I’m a fan of Germany; they never managed to get all 9 points even the time they had one of the best squad in the history of the world cup, obviously I mean Kaiser’s team.

Although I have to admit, they never did to us, what Azzurri’s have done and they’re still doing to their fans. Poor Ali! To be a fan of an inconsistent team is like to getting married to an unstable person. It’s even worse, cause you can’t get divorce, so it’s more like a Catholic marriage!

Anyway, my colleague Stephanie and I, are looking for a Bar where we can watch the match together, probably with lots of other fans of Germany. It’s nice to watch the game with a passionate German girl and sing Deutschland...Deutschland über alles

Some really bizarre architecture

It’s quite refreshing…

4. My favorite 101

One of the most brilliant, moving, thoughtful and meticulously executed film that I’ve ever seen, is a Japanese movie called After life by Hirokazu Koreeda

In an old Japanese residence, very much like a school with no resemblance to what we perceive as after life, the deceased individuals are provided with films, photos and slides of their lives, and they should choose one, and only one memory to eternally live that memory. In other word, the poetic concept of their after life is simply to live in the most favorite moment of their lives, forever.

And you’re dead wrong if you think since I gave up the plot, there’s no reason for you to see this movie if you haven’t seen it already cause there are so many beautiful moments, thoughts and ideas as well as sceneries, presented in after life that nobody can ruin the film just by telling you the storyline.

Now, inspired by this movie, imagine that you should pick a composer, and this composer would be the only one you are allowed to listen to, till the end of time. What would be your choice?

For me, the answer, simply and quickly, would be Johan Sebastian Bach. He has made so many breath taking pieces that one really needs an eternal life, only to fully squeeze every drop of divine pleasure out of this heavenly collection of sounds.

So it’s no wonder if I have dozens of Bach’s pieces among my favorite 101. For today, Erbarme Dich from St Mattew Passion, but instead of the original choral version, this lovely arrangement by Yo-Yo Ma, played by himself, from the album Simply Baroque.

It simultaneously satisfies my mutual passion for Bach and the magical voice of my favorite instrument, cello.

Why men are happier than women!

I recieved this today as an E-mail from a lady-friend of mine,

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple
creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding
plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You
can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white
T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car
mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have
to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too
icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a
bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress
$5000. Tux rental -$100. People never stare at your chest when you're
talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically
expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood
all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about
tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open
all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still
be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are
more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You
are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face
stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe
decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your
big hips. One wallet an d one pair of shoes -- one color for all
seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can
"do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice
concerning growing a mustache..

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

My Colombian ladies!

According to Francisco Fernandez, the director of the Road safety foundation, distraction, causing around 20% of the road accidents, is the most notorious cause of the awfully higher-than-average number of car accidents in Colombia.
Now read this,

The main distracters are, cell phones with 53% and the presence of beautiful women with the ridicules share of 32%!

Basically, in Colombia, looking at the beautiful women is the main reason of almost 6.4% of the all accidents in the roads!

Absolutely no comment!

Be nice to your neighbors!

Missing!

The picture you see, belongs to a 31 years old, allegedly male! who, from the moment he’s heard I’m going to stay at his place, has left his residency and has not returned.
Since the above mentioned, has a brilliant memory, apparently he has deliberately gone missing!


Any information will be rewarded (and help me to figure out, whether I should pack or not!)


Remember…we want your information…not your name!

9/11 conspiracy

No matter you believe in conspiracy or you don’t, it’s a brilliant work of investigation, worth spending one hour of your time for. Some of the eivdence are downright undeniable even for skeptic like myself!

3. My Favorite 101

The only considerable weakness of mine in front of women is when I confront a charming elegant lady who speaks French with a cute Parisian accent and it’s so serious that if someday I want to live with someone, either she should be a cute Parisian or we should live somewhere quite far from Paris!

Now you can imagine when one of the most beautiful girls in the world, whose exquisiteness alone is a tasteful song for the eyes, whispers this lovely romantic chanson, in French and with her soft, feminine voice, I have no choice but to put her in my favorite list and feel happy, just to be alive to appreciate it.

So today’s favorite is Carla Bruni , singing Le ciel dans une chambre from the album Quelqu’un m’a dit.

Revelations of the very last remaining brain cell!

Dear players in the world cup,

Please do not bug God that much by thanking him for every tedious Goal you score or you save! I mean, do you really think he’s sitting there, controlling every spin on your stupid ball! or somehow bends the bar to prevent the ball from going in?!

Even if you’re a creationist, do you thank the programmers in EA electronics every time you score a Goal in FIFA 2006?!

Fellows, if he’s God, he should be able to perform some automation. You can call it laws of physics. I don’t mind if you want to believe in God but at least give this God of yours a bit more credit!

By the way, if he’s going to bend the rules one day, I really prefer him to spend his talent on solving the global warming rather than help Trinidad and Tobago beat Paraguay!

P.S. I’m really in favor of the ancient system of polytheism. This way, we could dedicate a God only for football and then, the rest of the world wouldn’t become a pain in the ass of the other important Gods, so they could do something about the shit which is going on in the wolrd!

Fifa's World cup rules for some women!

And no one kills the children anymore...

Today is World day against child labor. According to UN figures, some 218 million children all around the globe are forced to work instead of being send to school, as a natural right of every child.

Children as young as 8, are working in copper mines in Sub-Saharan Africa, and yet there are quite lucky compared to those being exploited in growing, profitable international sex-trade market or those who’ve been trained as soldiers, to fight and kill before they get to 14 and catastrophically, the list goes on.

And yet, these statistics do not take into consideration, millions of children, being abused by incompetent parents, mentally, physically and even sexually.

Couple of days ago, I was watching Alan Parker’s The wall again. One can hardly find any work that shows the dark side of the harsh childhood memories on the future lives of the children, better than this Pink Floyd’s masterpiece.

Yet I was thinking, since it’s absurd to even suggest comparing the childhood of Bob Geldof’s Character in The wall with what these poor kids are going through, what kind of people these children will grow up to be and what kind of the world they’re going to make!

The god of children must have been dead, quite long ago.

Today was Diane’s birthday, so we went to an Irish pub for lunch where this hilarious sign caught my eyes.

In contrary to what the sign says, the waitress was a lovely, cute and polite Irish lady who was pregnant too ( well, since I mentioned Irish before, the pregnant part was kind of unnecessary).

I don’t know if it’s the effect of the age or what, but lately, I’m finding pregnant women attractive and even sometimes sexy. That’s new for sure!

2. My favorite 101

I know It’s the least Bob Dylan-type song ever but somehow I like it the most (no offense Bob!)
Since everybody knows both the song and the signer so well, I skip the introduction part. So This week’s pick is Things have changed from the album The essential Bob Dylan

Electronic voting in Florida

That is so great

Curious George…

Don’t miss this fabulous work of Chris Cox

Bill Maher's New rule!

Bluetooth headset users have to do something that lets me know that you’re just on the phone and not a dangerous schizophrenic! Right?! We don’t know if you’re talking to you secretary or the evil leprechaun who lives in your head!
You’re not the chief communications officer of the starship Enterprise, you’re a shoe salesman asking your mom if you can bring over your laundry!
If I wanted to overhear every tedious scrap of brain static, rattling around in your head, I’d read your blog!

Episode one
We were walking in the rain and almost alone in the street. On Saturday afternoon and when it rains like that, there are few people crazy enough to wander around the city but our days was short and even if we were not as crazy, we had no choice.

After an as-always-great brunch in L’avenue, coffee in amazingly unique café esperanza, we were walking in one of those so typical-of-Plateau, super charming narrow back –yard-streets and her shoes were utterly wet so were her socks and her jeans.

Right where most of the girls would nag the hell out of the guy and would kill the day by taking a cab home, she went to a shoe store, bought a 10$ pink rubber boots and a pair of socks.

Ten minutes later, her wet shoes and socks in a bag, we were back on those narrow streets and I was thinking to myself, I could have been the happiest man on earth!


Episode two
We were in Tamtam, almost completely high…she was sitting down on the green grass, my head on her lap. I was enjoying the rhythm, coming from far away, dancing of the leaves above me, gentle breeze on my face, massaging hands of the lately-so-scarce sunshine and most of all, her indescribably-pleasing company.

Then I saw my reflection on her sunglasses, right above her mysterious smile and I saved the moment on the memory card…the moment I knew wouldn’t last but was so beautiful, I didn’t want to imagine it otherwise.


Episode Three
Three is this seat in the bus, exactly over the tires, where right in front of the seat, there is an inclined surface; you can put your feet on. That’s the most relaxing hence my favorite spot in the bus.

She’d just left and I was coming back from Berri-Uquam station and was watching her numerous photos on my camera. Right beside me, there was this polite, classy lady with his super sweet, curious no-more-than-4-years-old boy on her lap and he was dying to see what I was doing.
And I, couldn’t stand him so willing to see the pictures, put the camera on slide show and in front him. Suddenly, he became amazingly quite, deliciously focused on the pictures, passing by every three seconds.
The mother, trying to appreciate my gesture, started asking him questions and he was charmingly nodding.

"Monsieur is so nice…did you thank him for showing his pictures to you?"
"The pictures are great, aren’t they?"
"She is so beautiful, isn’t she?"

Out of the blue, she looked at me and asked in a way, she couldn’t expect anything but confirmation in return, "Is she your girlfriend?"

I paused and then….smiled…I just didn’t feel like to say no…and she smiled back…To smart people, you shouldn’t explain everything and that’s what I like about them.

I looked back at the boy. He wasn’t looking at the screen anymore cause something equally irrelevant had caught his attention and he was so drowned in the new thing, you could hardly believe that a minute ago, he was eating the pictures by his curiosity.

How I wish I was a little boy!

a very funny comercial form Sprint

I just love his analogy!

Do one brave thing today

.. then run like hell

A fantastic place called TAM-TAM

Every sunny Sunday, the eastern slope of Mont-royal, is the place where the coolest people in the world gather, playing Tam-Tam or any sort of percussion that can create a moving afro-rhythm. Then, the rest of the crowd, already big-time high, dancing to this rhythm or just lying on the green grass and enjoying their Sunday afternoon!

The mood is so relax and friendly, you can hardly recall that you’re in always busy North America, and the style of the people, gives the impression of being in 60’s. it’s truly amazing.

Another interesting stuff about Tam-Tam (that’s not the name but that’s what people call it), is a game, very much like a Medieval Paintball in which geeks, dressed in ancient armors, equipped with foam-made war fare, simulate a medieval war! It’s so funny you’ll laugh your ass off…the two groups stand in front of each other, bump on their shields and attacking each other while screaming….
I’m going to gradually update some of the photos that I took from them, in my flickr. So , Check it out

World Cup…

Dear friends, guess the final scores of Iran’s three matches…I will announce the winner at the end of the competition.

A. Iran Vs Mexico
B. Iran Vs Portugal
C. Iran Vs Angola

Rules:
The exact result: 20 points
The winner and the correct goal difference: 10 points
Only the winner: 5 points

Good luck

a Haiku

New Year’s Day
Everything is in blossom!
I feel about average

The snow is melting
and the village is flooded
With children

Don’t worry, spiders,
I keep house
Casually

Issa

This is sooooo sweet!

Uncomfortable situations

That’s an invitation for you to share funny uncomfortable situations you have recently experienced . Be sincere, be impolite, be my guest!

So let me start first…

Public Bathrooms are among the very few places, I believe, should be separated based on genders. Men and women using the same public bathroom, BAD IDEA! and I tell you why.

To start with, every time you want to leave the bathroom to a lady, you’re faced with this dilemma: “Should I leave the toilet seat up or should I put it back down?”. Sounds funny ha?! Now, If you leave it down, she’d think you’re a pig, actually peed on the toilet seat, but if you leave it up, then she’d still be thinking, you’re just a natural stereotype male pig! You see, it’s not that funny!

Anyway, unfortunately mixed bathroom is the case in our office and today, when I entered the bathroom to wash my hands, it was like I entered the site of a medieval battle field where thousands of people got killed and their bodies have been left under the scorching summer sun for weeks! As if the guy had eaten some dead rats for breakfast!

Any way, I washed my hands as fast as possible, while holding my breath, and as I was getting out of the bathroom, guess what? I found myself, face to face with the only girl in the office whom I actually have a crush on, waiting to go after me!

Ok…I’m waiting for your bloopers!

Dear God,
That was a really cheap joke, and it wasn’t even funny!
Just so you know!